Apparently the internet has a case of colorism...Let's talk about it.
I'm so upset highly upset clearly really upset all right well yeah um drumroll please I think Drake made a song about this the whole hook was I'm upset it was I had like a soundboard that just press the button okay you could have got that light skinned I'm upset oh man that helped that helped for this situation I'm got the female support and I know I'm drumming it up about three female listen I haven't there was no show prep for this because I just I didn't know how to explain it to you and I thought I should you guys prepare for the show you don't do any show prep what is that? Oh I had breakfast and I worked out so you know could be light and Spry nimble of the mind if you will. How about you introduce yourself nama stay well, and I've never done yoga in my life. Okay, okay, I'm not flexible at all. Oh, yeah. Like is good for your core. Or does that Pilates? Pilates? Lots of Pilates. Okay, a lot. Is this for athletes? Yoga is for vegans. Got caught me on that? No. Well, after I dropped this teaser, let's just go straight into the intro. Because I'm Marcus. We're doing an intro to yoga. I'm Marcus co host of this wonderful show head of apostasy. And my social. It's on the dark web. Is social security number is on the nighttime internet. Is somebody buying? Like they call explaining sketch films? Or no, there's no, I don't know snuff? Oh, is that what people get killed? Yes. What? If people buy the footage of that with your social security number? God no hope not. Just handing out your Social Security to gas station phones to me. Just struck the intro, please. And I'll explain it during how you lost your Social Security. All right, well, people go lock up your social security camera, because people apparently buying nodded films and murder evidence with that me mentioning why you would sell that on any version of the internet. Anyway, I'm gonna make sure that my internet is the right color. Because I need to protect mine. So one time I don't want to be dark. I don't know what color the internet is supposed to be. I just know that the darker it is the more so you know what that does actually check out because pretty much all across the world, the darker you are, you know, the harder time in life you're going to have and I guess expands even virtually to the Internet. In the manifest probably to my internet is not dark enough to view or obtain social security numbers. So what homeless person did you give the wrong paperwork to? And how did you find like, what were you doing on the dark web to find out that your information was on the dark web? Oh, I wasn't on the dark web I in between murders and virtual strippers and like oh, there's my social. Let me pick that up before I watch this person get maladapted to death. Okay, so whatever is popping on the I wouldn't grow web. So I've learned why dark web, I wouldn't watch murderers on the web. Okay, whatever it is you virtual. Anyway, bad if you need your social normally just didn't know what can I tell what happened? What was wrong with me? There was nothing. There was nothing wrong with my email. It's funny that my email address isn't even like Poland or anything like that. But all of your social but not your email. So, birthday recently passed, right? Any of your listeners know it was a couple of weeks ago whenever that episode dropped, right? Yeah, I don't remember. So I get a credit alert from my bank or my creditor and they were not that expensive. And we had tickets for the first few I do remember at least that much. So I don't think oh, you sold your social security on your birthday while we were drunk. There were a lot of international people in there. So I will say something inappropriate story I believe you are because I saw security is on the regular color internet. I'm glad it is. So what Wait, why is it on the record anyway? So why is there an internet period? Oh, cuz the social anyway. Yeah, no, I got you. That's why I stopped myself several times long story short. Um, so I got an alert, it was basically saying, Hey, your social security number has been found on the dark web along with other contact information who alerted you? Did the Avengers swoop in as a group? Like citizen you need to reclaim your ID or else the evil dark web? Nice. And that would make me feel better shielded your laptop? No, it was but it was capital, I will chew a new one. That would have been nice cap. Iron Man is he does drink all your beer. And then he left. So Capital One, contact me in there like hey, you know information is out there and leaked. And shout out to Capital One for being on the dark web. Y'all doing hanging out on there. But you have to search for your information. Oh, yeah. So I used to say when I was a teenager. So anyways, so yeah, long story short, searching for information was information. I didn't know, I found a number that wasn't you know, associated a number I'd never seen. So you know, I did some investigation. And I was able to find out the number is related to this issue, your dark web dossier. Just on yourself? Yeah. So there's a packet of it wasn't just your social, it was like a show and my life was like the cover letter of it was my he was meat. So someone was comparing to become you. Someone can easily become Marcus out there. Interest. Yeah, like I cannot post. Alright, looking into my second story, jumping in front of the horse. But yeah, so basically all informations out there, I have, I had to call the credit union, or the creditors like tramp TransUnion, or wall, these, you have to get a new social security. No. So let's make you keep the stolen, I can't, that's my identity, it's me. That's it, it's just out there forever. So doing the numbers, I'll give you a new seven. So they can do is put a fraud alert on my account. So basically, anyone that tries to open up an account of line of credit would have to like go through hoops and hurdles just to do it. Or I can freeze it completely. Which means even I won't be able to open up a line of credit. Unless I go through hoops and hurdles and all this other stuff. So you can't do anything. Basically they're like, Hey, your social is on the dark web. And that's where it's going to be. That's correct. You can shut your social down completely. Thus, you know, not being able to function in modern society. Or you can just roll the dice and, and hope like there's no hope that you don't become successful enough to want for someone to want to steal your identity. Right? The good thing is as long as you work on this show, they probably won't do anything about that. But don't be surprised if next week you have a new person sitting in the seat claiming to be me. I mean, they'll show you all the identification. They'll be like hey, here's my driver's license wheelchairs my social nothing inappropriate happens here again, here's our card is normal colored it's not dark, so you don't need it to get anything inappropriate. Someone leaked it. I found out who leaked it someone leaked your social yes like a sex tape. Yes, like I said I'd rather they will have leaked the sex tape of me then on my social note that I know my credits already messed up I would have anyway I just get a new social I found that it was without going into too much detail I found it was Monica said she sold her social I don't think she sold it but I think she and she intentionally leaked it how do you oh my god we go to details later oh my understand how this it's okay things I also don't understand and I wanted to ask you about I just don't even understand why they told you if there's nothing you can do about it what I told you the steps I need to take if I don't take those steps then you know there's possibility so easily be able to just buy a boat in my name which they won't be able to what is your best solution is the illegal solution. You should just get the same ID that you know the day laborers get you know you just by yourself a social and then get rid of your real one. You actually freeze it freeze your real one and my fake one so use the fake one until they're like this is fake while you have it well because someone's stolen. Well, the funny thing is also like I since I have a job as long as I don't lose that job. I don't really need the only thing I'm worried about someone accessing my phone like, I wonder if they can clone my phone or something like by having my social, add some stuff on my phone, just like from the FBI. I mean, I can't confirm they're not closing your phone. As long as you've not talked to Jack Reacher or Archer, in the last six to nine months, they're not done. Nobody dangerous. All right. Well, you know, unless you can talk to aliens on your phone, in which case they already cloned it environment. So things that you once again, you said people may or may not be caring about and you asked me earlier how much I guess my replacement costs. That leads me to the next story. It's a story it's going around bought yourself a replacement for the show? No, it is I tried to get those three replacement. The question is how did that oh, that's probably how you lost your social. You were just offering things and you're like, look, I don't care. I'll give you my social as a demonstration of how down you were to communicate with the singing stripper. I don't quite know what her set of skills is. You know, she's really good at being weird on the internet, that I think she's better at making music because I know I haven't I haven't heard radio, but she's I know that she's not good at wearing shirts and being on webcams. But everybody's got their set of skills. Anyway, so set of skills, what set of skills you know, I'm gonna send her a hoodie. What pills would you need? Would you require for someone let's just say you were in the situation that a lot of people are speaking about the whole Wendy Williams Have you heard anything about that? Redhead girl that has the square hamburgers? Not Wendy from Wendy's burger, talking about Wendy Williams. talk show hosts? Oh, well, so I'll keep your yes, she she's been sick. Specific. She's been sick for a very long time. Yeah, so she hasn't been the host of the show. She's having tons of CO hosts doing her show. Now the producers of the show have said that they are introducing Sherri Shepherd as the permanent host of the show of the Wendy Williams Show. If Wendy doesn't come back by September, she comes back by September. She can have her show. If she doesn't. Sherri Shepherd gets the show. And they're going to rename it. My question to you, you get sick. who replaces you? I don't know also, but whoever it is their first and last name and I'll start with the same letter. Because that's just ridiculous. That that's the main issue you have with that whole situation. We have me Wendy Williams Williams looks like she could palm a globe so I'm ready for anybody else. Like either Well, I mean, Wendy Williams. That's Wendy Williams Sherri Shepherd. Who is Sherri Shepherd. Another tacos show host lady is built like Wendy Williams. She's obviously in that she looks like a German shepherd. And that's why she probably is more like a pug. If I had to go off the top of my head. Oh, she wears glasses. Wandering I know she's just off the top of my head. That's probably disrespectful to all the people out there that don't want to talk show up. Fair enough. I know like Wendy Williams. I like the hamburgers, butter Shepherd. Right there. So yeah, I don't I actually like her. I don't know her name. I like her. Alright, well, I mean, shot the ship with it. But yeah, so first question. Okay. Top three people. Yeah, Team Sherry was? What was the question? So top three, it could be anybody because three dead or alive. Okay, JDK is definitely help you really not only finish top three coals or top three hosts that you would have replaced you if you just didn't take SeaCliff for my own show, who would replace me would you want anybody just name them celebrities? Anybody? I would want coaches. I don't care. Child I don't want the show to be I don't want anybody replacing me and I want the show to become NF t so that it can exist virtually forever. And my family gets paid for each listen. That is what I would want. Because I would not wish this job. Oh my worst ain't like I don't know. It's a weird question. You know, that's like we can ask production but you know, they're not probably equally weird. It's like, if you knew you were gonna die. Who would you want to replace you and your family? Nobody. Just be miserable and miss me like I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I can't. Maybe I'm not mature enough to visit realize my things happy without me. Oh, okay. I mean fair. Hey, that's fair. That's fair. That's understandable. So I don't know, I guess I guess a better way for me to conceptualize the question would be like, who would be the perfect host for a show? Like when I was producing a show instead of hosting one would I pick? Yeah, I still don't know. Cuz I would probably just say, Well, I'm just gonna do it because I don't know. I want to listen to talk. You know, you definitely can't think of anyone that could temporarily host a head above a boxy. Morgan Freeman because No, you know who I want to listen to Samuel L. Jackson. That's who I don't want to listen to awesome. Oh, Jackson, be a man. I'm sure he's got lots of cool stories. And you know, he's intelligent. And then when he doesn't feel like being intelligent, he can be intelligently ignorant. Yes. Yeah. That'd be awesome. Yeah. Which is always a good time. To pick somebody. Oh, Jackson. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. I mean, hell been poxy hosted by Tia. No, because I'm like, I mean, you know, Westeros person. I mean, I was gonna say, you probably wouldn't get the style of your show back after that. Yeah, he's got it. I liked it a lot. But now he got too much his own stuff. I don't know. No, I mean, those two are good. Dialogue. I'm sorry. Um, yeah, I don't know. I want to pick somebody involved in basketball, but I can't think of anybody that would want to like talk about something other than basketball. Okay, fair enough. So if I was on medical leave, I don't even know if that's in my contract. doji cat, as my co host. That's my substitute co host. We actually could do it cuz I wouldn't be doing the show anymore. Anyway. To match basketball. Let's get Shaquille O'Neal in the seat. I don't know how he'll fit in my garage. But yeah, sure. I mean, if we can get him by this ceiling space, he just doesn't get to the door. Yes, if you get him in here. Yeah, I mean, I'm just saying no, I'll be on medically that's all for like That's right. When I was gonna be you know, hoping that him and Sam Jackson get along. Wesley Snipes. Oh, yeah, we do talk about taxes a lot. And he could tell you all the things not to do. So that will be done with his taxes. With Wesley those are also three people that like if I unfortunately didn't come back secrets what's night time? Or like that? What you can't do is I like that that could be a new segment. All of your recreational alcohol you start what? So I'm just saying like, I think I lost the rhythm of where you're going. So once again, I just think that like those are the three that I would have be my co or be replacements for now. It'd be hilarious if we ended up with those who can't Samuel Jackson. Oh, that'd be a great show it last two and a half episode four. I got irritated and slapped up with a microphone. I mean, he might. I mean, he did. So total is 2am you cannot be this high right now. I'm sick of these motherfucking cows right rapping in this motherfucking video I know that you dress like a cow. What kind of stupid ass song. Say me one more time. I did this once. You know. Thanks, Peter. Jackson, we have used all the foul language we're allotted for Season. Appreciate it. Thank you. Let me you can't not do SEO Jackson and not swear. Yeah, but I'm like this is like a semi family show. Right? And families that are aware of who Samuel Jackson are will either have their child exit the room? Or what let them watch a Sam Jackson film maybe like well, he went easy on maybe they only remember him as the mailman from plus, what are you doing with letting a child listen to this show? Anyway, it's a family show. But we don't talk about children things like they wouldn't be interested in anyway. No, I wouldn't. I mean, maybe kids maybe like learning about taxes, again, of what not to do, and that you'll be miserable because of them. Like every parent on Earth teaches their children. Exactly how taxes are. They're miserable. We don't understand them and I pay them too much. I don't care what bracket you're in. It's the same message to every child. And they're right, because I had to pay him and I'm still mad. I probably will never not be mad. I can figure out how to Trump a file my taxes and pay $700 every year and I'm gonna still be mad about the year that I paid 20k So congratulations, IRS. You have scarred me for life. You had to pay 20k in taxes. So that's the show, folks. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, um, uh, yeah, I think I roughly estimate you know, I like to give precise numbers my contest platform we got all these years, Thailand, Taiwan. I don't want them. Yeah. You know, and they don't even have taxes. Is that factual? I don't know. I just assume that like your check goes directly to the government. It's not. No, it's not a tax. That's just you know, 90% tax or 100% tax, it's a tax leadless I thought that was cost of living literally. If you don't pay don't, you don't live. That's my assumption. I think that's more of a fascist Russia, kind of North Korea kind of thing does the same thing. Just have more technology, less oxygen, more tech? Okay. That's where Russia is too cold, they can't make tech all they can make is vodka and rockets. Bullets, I don't know that they make those. So for any of the Russian listeners that are still listening, I can send y'all hoodies. I mean, you can you'd have to double them up though, because they're for Americans, and they're not insulated for the Russian coal. So do yourself about 34568 of them and just you know, layer up and then put on a Russian code over that and then I'll appreciate the support camera what about the cup? Yeah, now we don't have any vaca yet but we do have mugs and water bottles and you can you know they're the insulated one of them. I think the water we got one of them. It's like those cool water bottles. That's that pseudo insulated, so it'll keep your vodka frozen or cold or whatever however you drink it there. But yeah, I can send it and you know what, I will let you pay the shipping me pay the ship. Oh, you're Russia. Yeah, you could pay that yeah, you're too tired man. I appreciate Russia hit me up. I will happily pay the exuberant fees to have it shipped to you. I mean, if you order in bulk then you know the shipping is better. I think maybe please don't have people order in bulk I you know, no, that's fine. I'm just saying like give the coder 40 Set heart that I've been requesting then you know we can get so you can have a card that thing been shut off. It is decorative it just it it makes the it balances out the wallet you know if you don't have enough cards that all your calls to fall out like it doesn't work at all other than like counterweight runway is right ahead of us. Do you want to wrap up your thoughts on me losing my social and every Yeah, to be more responsible with your identity man like how you just have your social security number out here in the street? I also am curious as to how to access the darker side of the internet like is it a switch is it like you know everything has got nighttime settings for your screen is like is there if you hit preferences twice you just dark internet and now I can buy children blood and socials. Like I don't know. I didn't know. I thought the internet was dark enough man you've been on Reddit lately. Like They talk crazy in these chat places. It's It's wild. So I didn't I didn't think we needed a dark web. But apparently if you want to deal in socials in Capital One's on I one of my bank is on AI you know what, everybody should hit up your bank and make sure that they are out there watching murder porn, because that is where they can find your social. I guess maybe I just I really wonder how they found that like, what were they doing? Oh, well. Hey, I think that's a customer. Oh, now that's evidence. Oh, no. What is a customer now has a tooth is that the saw guy? I just had it. I really did you ask like can you ask how he found it? Or that type of probably cancel your account? Like, you don't want to ask those questions. So yeah, I guess reach out to your financial institutions. Make sure they're on the dark web. If they are and you still have an identity and a functioning checking account, then head on over to head above hypocrisy.com on the normal colored internet and make yourself a nice safe purchase. You do not need to enter any social security information. Just I think an email address and whatever payment processor you choose, you know the pay pals the Venmo is not the Vladimir's exchange and things are whatever it was that you were doing. With your social on your internet. I don't I don't understand how that happens. But shout out to Capital One for perusing the dark web. I wonder if targets on the dark web to figure out any like bootleg target items out there. Do you imagine knock off targets. It's like bootleg Walmart like how do you even do that? Knock off swap me and just wouldn't even work like anyway. We have authentic bankruptcy merchandise on the website. And yeah, make sure your internet's the right color. Because apparently if it's not you'll you'll lose your social so be careful. It is it's real out here in these digital streets I'm done. I can't believe she lost herself so truth be told, I lost my social security card as soon as I got it. So mine could be in the dark post office I guess or something Alright, folks, if you have any lost documents though, you may want to look at the dark post office. It's a make a left at Narnia. Right next to the right, Albuquerque, Bugs Bunny always make the road Okay.