What in the world is going on with Brittney Griner?...Let's talk about it.
I think you could grow Russia. We, because it's too cold. Lead needs more. Since the dank term, there's nothing think about Russia. Right? I don't think no, not that I know. Um, what are you alluding to? I don't what do you why are we talking about this? You said Britney Spears was in Russia by a week. I did not say that the email stated. Okay, so now I understand that you do not read company emails, it said means company email, you should you're the host of the show. That's why you have a company email address that you never check and you have your personal email that you don't give out anybody. You're not just for Netflix and Hulu. You're the host of the show. Why are you not reading your own personal emails that we're sending to you? I'm the host, it's not the Secretary's job. Who are are the CO hosts, man? Yeah. I'm the one that sent the email, which is kind of a synonym my co host secretary. I think that same thing. Go ahead. Introduce yourself, man. It's your show. Please. John. Johnny. Six, half a dozen. Williams. Well, and I am almost positive. You cannot grow marijuana in Russia. Chewy? factchecking. I have no idea. No, we can't go over there. No one could do anything. They're busy. With the Ukraine thing? Yeah, no, I'm I'm Marcus. And yeah, I guess we'll have to google that. I'm not driving anywhere to do any research because gas is too expensive. I meant like to a library. Nevermind. Just can you I mean, you could drive to Russia, if you had one of them. Was it air, car boat plane things. But it would have to be able to withstand the Russian temperature. So you bring back maybe you could do it. I mean, I can use vodkas, fuel now because it's like gasoline like $8 we just go get drunk and stay home. I meant just pour the water and you know, good. Just drop your intro. You'll make good use of vodka so you can drive to the gas station. That's a horrible idea. Drop your intro, please. I'm gonna go hide all the vodka and the keys. So you don't injure yourself. First. Start a civil war. World War no world. Yeah, Civil War was last year. I was in the process of hiding all the vodka in key so you didn't go get gas? That's pretty sure what happened to Brittany. She was trying to drive back from Russia. Oh, and they were like, You can't drive? I don't think that's what happened. No, no. I just read the email. So what she read the email and I was wondering where you went for a while. Um, anyway, so the email that I thought to be a great information about vodka and Britney. Yeah, well, no, it was about WNBA star. Phoenix murder. Oh, she shaved her head W NBA star the Phoenix Mercury sent her a planet. Britney, Greg. is who? I'm talking about. Oh, the coop girl. Yes. The one that was fast. Yes. Yes. Can like the lady photons that, you know, it's it's like I didn't even just say that. Yes. She plays for the sun. What's a female son call? The Mercury. V Venus fire? No. Strong enough for man but smells like a woman who she's involved with vape cannabis cartridges in Russia. And she's facing like 13 years in prison. Wait, why? She brought vape cartridges in her carry on. I guess they were found in Russia. Where it is a no, no. So they're throwing the book at her and she's been like 10 to 13 years in it. Do they make? Are they making the book up while they're telling? You can't do that? You can't do it. But she's not from there. Yeah. You can't use it as an excuse when you go home. Wouldn't she leave it? I have no idea. I thought she was like entering the country. She's leaving, she's being detained. Detained for what? From exiting because they're trying to get more of her weed. I think they're trying to figure out how to because they're so cold. They can't grow it. You got Okay, so yeah, no, obviously what you're saying is that facts. So why would you do that? All right. Oh, yeah, I forgot why would someone come get facts from a podcast? That's Lesson number one. Um, so they're gonna give her 13 years, maybe even 13. Yeah, cuz she has made cartridges that's productive for you. Oh, I mean, it'd be worse if she went to like, what's that country that kills you before drugs? China, not China. It's a Russia. Oh, so it's one of those Philippines, China, Philippines. Malaysia. It's one of those where President Duarte is, I believe, who? President isn't that a restaurant? That was it? They had a low they put the salsa in the low bowls that look like fireplaces. Yeah. Okay, so I that's not the president. It might be No, it might be the president Duarte is the President of the Philippines and he's the one that has that ban on drugs where if you're doing drugs, you are dead. Literally like he will burn it. Like if the drugs are bad, no, no all drugs like if you go there and you're smoking marijuana with a headache, he take three Advil. He's gonna shoot you in the face. Well, maybe not that, but if it's like marijuana, he's gonna kill you. And they voted for this person. Yeah. How many people live there eight in the Philippines? No, it's a lot of people. And they all voted for him. I mean, I'm perfect. Did they know that this was his platform before they voted? Me? Probably not. On vote for him. That sounds stupid. I think he might be like a little bit of a dictator. I don't know. But yeah, see what you did there. That was funny. Thank you. So so yeah. Oh, we had a dictator if he was good. He did. We, you know, she showed up. They searched her bags. She has marijuana. Who's at fault? I mean, who's at fault? She's clearly at fault. But like you said, I don't think she should have gotten this severe versus always at fault. That's fine. Especially now. But like, I don't think she doesn't make any sense. She was leaving. Literally. What she brought up there. It's too late. I thought they're just mad. They didn't catch it. First time. She's leaving. I'm not like I don't understand why. Why professional athlete. They're all on drugs. They cheated the whole Olympics. She brought three weed cartridges. You dug a hole and awesome Looney Tunes Acme acres trying to steal carrots from bugs tape. It was ridiculous. And you know, try to throw her in jail. The whole country then should be in jail for trying to steal the Olympics. I mean, I don't disagree with you. Maybe that's allowed. You can steal as long as you don't smoke weed while you're doing it. That makes that sounds Russian. For me. Reno. weed is criminalized and a lot of other countries. Well, I mean, well, maybe not a lot of other countries, but in some countries, yeah. Anything in the Bible Belt states out here is criminalized. Yeah, no, it's I think it's it's too closely linked to free thought. And, you know, you can't have that in the south or in communist countries. So now can understand why they wouldn't want to drug they promote that, you know, I mean, they probably shoot you for mushrooms, too. I think some countries have but you can have all the vodka you want it's depressing and makes you stupid. I get it makes sense. Which can happen back in the Philippines to you know, maybe some people in the Philippines or some of these presidents or public officials they should have a background check. A background check on the President I mean, yeah, you got you kind of get to know but I really don't because I didn't know that he wanted to Yeah, post 45 run the country like the Red Queen from Allison. So I mean with that smell marijuana Off with his head with that being said, so it was sage it was it's I just spiritual. I was right the drug dog made a mistake. Terrible cars vape too. It's not like how would you like wow, that's how do they know how they know. Like, what brand was maybe they should make vape cartridges more discreet now. I mean, what depends if it was still in the packaging of the packaging? Once a week leaves you know, circles or packaging. I don't know cuz she's a professional athlete in Russia and assume drugs were okay. Because they cheated at the Olympics. You want me I'm just saying she could just like put should have told him never steroids is icon right comes right through saying if it's you know, if it's performance enhancing, then it's alright. Right. Okay, now, it's thought provoking. Red flag red flag. So here's your brain. Speaking of red flags, have you been on Tinder lately? Didn't my wife and you'd ask that question for I do this until I don't have the app on my phone. Okay. Great answer. This is the setup is not on your phone. Alright. Um, so yeah, Tinder has this new feature. It is called a background checks on your dates available. Oh, man. Um, so, but like, what kind of you mean, wait, what? background check? No, it's not like some kind of job. Or do you have to write like your dating history is part of your profile? That's a great question. I do not know how deep the background checks go. But however for a low low you have to supply the information, right? They can't just run like a criminal background. You're not trying to work at Tinder. No, I mean, they're I think they're running like a criminal background check. Like, okay, well, I guess I'm really really old. When I was a kid, Tinder was like a dating app makes Yeah, this dating app with like, Instagram emojis you could put on your face. Or the cat fit filter. You know me. middle aged men, pretty teenaged women. It filter did I don't where are we leading? That's that's the last thing you knew about felt like, why would you need to do a criminal background check? Oh, it is time? Did they do this on plenty of fish as well? Well, no. Well, maybe? I don't know. I don't think so. But just like Uber, where they're doing background checks on their drivers, there's tons of creeps out there to have any sex offenders. So that way for the low low price of $2.15. I believe don't quote me. Oh, you can get a background check on your, your significant date. Yeah, well, that's great. I feel like that it's it is it's aimed for the lowest common denominator. So that makes sense. Yeah, if you feel so like, why would you even be trying to date someone you feel you need to run a criminal background check on because people are creeps. Okay, so maybe it's different because you know, you're going on several dates hundreds of years ago, and at no point was like, hi, I really wish I'd run a criminal background check on her. Hey, how do you know she didn't run a criminal background check on you. That because think about it? What do you mean, think about it have no idea. I do because before the internet, how would she have done it? There's no you couldn't open the phone? Call criminal one 800 background check. You could have watched what is it America's Most Wanted and made sure you're not a guy and then bought a time machine and went and use the internet like Nah, man. Nobody ran a background check on me. I mean, okay, well, I don't know you. Like someone didn't look on like what is it called Megan's list or something to make sure you weren't like a pedophile. Megan, in my list. The only list I came back is Craig. Oh, Jesus. That's how I got on my laptops. Early 2000s to be a Craigslist killer. Well, maybe sold me a laptop. If you meet him at Starbucks, it can kill you. So just don't be stupid. It's your fault if you're the Well I went to his garage and no lights were on and next thing I knew I was fighting for him. Well meet at Starbucks. Craigslist one on one. I don't think that's not how the Craigslist star but I know he didn't kill him and Starbucks does not. Oh, God. Alright. You even sit down too long as a black person and drink coffee in Starbucks. They do not let people kill each other. I'm sure of that. They don't oh boy out for being black and drinking slow. So I'm sure I mean, you can't just be killing people left and right because you met them on Craigslist. Meet them at Starbucks. It worked for me my whole I never felt threatened nervous. I even had a chai latte. It was great. I don't know why they make fun of white women for that. It's a delicious drink. Ugg boots look uncomfortable, but you know, I felt like I got the child without the boots. I don't think I used to think that they were mutually exclusive. But you can get the beverage without the fuzzy socks shoes. To Sasquatch feet. They were Yeah, no. Yeah, no, I'm letting you you have all the right things on your feet are constantly sweating. Apparently that's fashionable Endor comfortable. It just looks hot all the time and they never look like your feet the appropriate temperature. But women love those tights. Chai tights Ugg boots. Do you know that men wear Ugg boots? I've seen well in the valley. I don't think anywhere else, or maybe in Orange County. But it's an interesting shoe. Choice apparel choice. I think they have men Ugg boots. Now I don't think they do was this person that he under like a was down on their luck. One would say no there at Whole Foods. Oh, it's those kinds of people not doubt and homeless people can afford to buy some things called Pippa a tiny pair of $120 for Ugg boots, tiny Ugg boots make no sense why it's just they're just boots wood ferns I just alpaca furs expensive, I don't know, or whatever the first comes from I don't know where the word comes from. But yeah, that makes no sense. I don't know make some fake ones, but they the integrity of the heel starts to give. And then it just it looks like I don't know, a under inflated water balloon. And it's just an outrageous set above hypocrisy. No, no, we're not no. Okay, we would have to charge way too much ah, offset the cost just charge amaizing nobody's gonna buy a $500 How do you know? Because I would advise against it on my own show as I have these booths you shouldn't buy because they cost to exist. And somebody will be like, Man, I'll show you in a run. But if things are expensive people are gonna buy. Like, for instance, gasoline, it's expensive. It cost me 150 something dollars to fill up my tank. And all I did was drive from my house to yours. And that's that I'm trying driving in reverse. I've heard What? What? No, this is not Ferris Bueller. That doesn't remove the mileage or anything? No, that's not how that worked. And that even worked in that movie. It's never worked in the history of history. You don't drive about high school to try to anywhere. Wait, why am I sounding like I'm curious if it worked. I know it didn't work. No, he had a tree before we could determine how much gas he was or was not saving, because it's very hard to drive backwards for long. It is it's actually unless you're in The Fast and the Furious universe in which case, it is the same as driving forward. You don't have to look where you're going. And the laws of physics do not apply. I never understand how they never not to talk about movies too long, but I never understand how they never get caught in those movies. Those news are always fugitive, they do get caught and then they just like miraculously escaped because they moonwalking beating car and then like No, no, no corkscrew flip, or Windows or in big chases, elbow chain, but they will be hidden from the law for like years upon years in between movies. And it's like how they have to go get gasoline somewhere, right? Because the only person looking for them is a retired wrestler. Anyways, back to reality. So like gasoline is super expensive. And I just don't $7 A gallon why? There was movies that used to talk about stuff like this where gasoline you know, there's a giant plague of some sort. And then there's, you know, a gasoline shortage. And I mean, there's not a shortage of gasoline. I hope that in California prices to Yeah, but they don't have to. They have to take a small amount. Right? You could just you know, gasoline, vodka, lighter fluid, whatever you need get the thing to turn over. This would be a perfect time for Elon Musk to sell Tesla's even like for cheaper. He's not. He's not I don't know why they're so expensive. Because he's intelligent. And we live in a capitalist society. Yeah, but I mean, like, I thought he was all about saving the world. For a price. Take health care, we want to help you, if you can afford it. Is that Zod is I mean, that's why I have a job. Well, one of the reasons I am employed is so that I have health coverage and I can afford that. I can afford them to want to help me and you still got to pay less apparently. I don't I don't understand. I don't understand the math on now. And I'm not going to pretend I guess the alternative is communism. So I'll just pay the deductible so, um, since I drive here, do I get like a gas voucher? Or like what do we what are we going to do about the situation? About you driving here? Yeah, like, do I? Do you need directions? You get lost? No, I mean, like, do I write this off on the company? Or like, you know, you ran off whoever you want. I don't I don't know how write offs work. You got to take that out with the write off people. But I'll ask that later off after the show. So write down like a picture. I've seen Friday. You know how the rest of that goes. Family shows I can't quote it right? Of course. No, but I mean, you know, I'm pretty sure IceCube Tracy, you know, the the justice. I do not care how you choose to document it. You know, it is what it is. Do you think people are gonna start hoarding gasoline? Now let's talk about the toilet paper best. Well, it's not a pandemic. It's like more of like a we're not a gasoline shortage and we probably never will be People do stupid that's what the pandemic Tada so when they get nervous they buy things they don't need so it's not toilet paper paper towel and we're run out of gas we need to get all the paper towels we can get jetski paper towels, toothpicks and tube socks. Nothing has to be something that's like an everyday essential but we just don't really need to find a pandemic cotton balls. As the first thing that came to your head was cotton balls as an everyday essential you do you see our kids, man? I swear. I didn't say baby wipes. Yeah, no, I guess bathrooms now instead of toilet paper made to face hand soap. Hands. Yeah, nah, that's that's already a pandemic item. Okay, toothpaste. I think there's not enough there's too many people that have poor dental hygiene for that to make a real effect. I don't know how we got here. But now I'm really curious on what would be a pandemic non pandemic item like what if the war war three would to break out? What does people stealing or hoarding? Because people are smart water and shotgun. Well, that's what they should be. But no one's gonna do that. I mean, except for you and Nick. But yeah, yeah. Mo right. Rail mix. Right, right. Right, right. I think I have some AIDS is I can find military rations in my closet. But like, the gross um, however, like what what do you think the average American is gonna go in paper towels and sanitize sanitizer because that's what's most recent in their mind. Right, right. panicked. Oh, Clorox wipes. trata Clorox I mean, I feel like that's what you live next to it's already what are people gonna rate at the target? Paper towels. He said baby, who was Lysol wipes. Right? Right. And the ration is you only buy two. So like me, my wife went and stood in line and one in front of the other. Okay, good for the household. Oh, wow. It really felt like in Feudal China or something, trying to get rations. Really? Russia cleaning supplies. Here we are. Two years later, he still got those cleaning supplies. Did you guys even use them? We still have some of the Clorox wipes that we bought from the pandemic. They don't go bad. They don't take up as much space as cubes of toilet paper. We're all right. I'm a friend. bless her soul. She has a garage full of supplies, though. I see like a doomsday. There's not a coupon or something I got no, she's not a couponer. She's just like, you know, not on purpose. But she's like, not she didn't. She's not a doomsday. Err. But you know, she was prepared. She became prepared during the pandemic. And now after she's still prepared. She was going to treat her COVID with toilet paper in Canada. I don't think she has toilet paper, but she has a lot of Lysol wipes and stuff. She was going to go the bleach route. Gotcha. Yeah, because that proved so effective. Everything's wiped down. She didn't have she never got COVID needed to die. And I did none of those things vaccine probably helped you. Yeah, according to the scientists, but you know only if you believe in math science and facts right now. I don't got time for that. So you're getting water shot gun shows and trail mix. I will be grabbing another head of of hypocrisy, because I'm gonna need that to keep me warm. We're gonna get those real quick. Oh, you can get the hoodie from the website. Everything else? Probably a big five Walmart sports shallot. Sounds amazing. They're like my favorite onions or whatever they are. It's sports chalet. Like a Dallas are amazing. Have you ever had a shallot? What? It's a little like, small onion thing? Oh, I hate those. Why? Because they always make me chop them and separate the greens from whites in my HelloFresh. And in the scallions. What did you say? Shallots. The same thing you said? Oh, the little fish things. The round circles? The white? With no. What is that? That looks disgust? Is that a disease? It's a shallot man. Oh, how do you cure it? So where can people get your merchandise? And above boxy.com I said that you have to chop those up and you're like, Nah, I think that those are onions. And then you show me a picture of onion. I showed you I gave you the answer I gave you you said you have to separate the greens and the whites. And I think you're right about this one, which is a scallion. And that's what you showed you a shallot and that's what you were referencing before. What they're both onions. They're both things we can't get off your website. So head above hypocrisy. Well, they're both things i To chop up for HelloFresh. So I hate them regardless of what onion species it is. I don't like spending six hours chopping in 20 minutes cooking, you don't like to cook. I don't like the ratio of time spent. Prepping versus cooking. I like to cook. I've got a samurai and I'm a chef. I love chef. I'm cooking, but I'm not training to, you know, fight a samurai. I always feel like those things are a lot because like you said, it will tell you the prep time is only like 10 minutes, but it really turns out to be like 2025. I mean, I think they're assuming evil have a harmful hoary sword, or you're gonna use a food processor. And I know, I have a food processor, but I'm terrified of it. And that day, my sword is under construction. Yeah, yeah. No, that sounds like sound advice. You know, I heard you had another show that gives out sound advice. This what now? There's yet another show that gives out sound advice on how to re possess your home full horror story. I don't know. I'm never allowed to be on that show. The sword show there's something about advice for dads. Oh, the dads corner. You know, we don't talk about swords. Well, sometimes we maybe well, there's the lightsabers. But I'm saying you know, dads usually don't have to deal with that. Right. So no, unless it's futile, China and I haven't you know, I haven't done a a period piece episode. Right. Okay. But you know, I do offer a fatherly advice and do more parental focused subject matter, right on the dads corner, which is exclusively on Apple pod. That's where it's at? That's probably why I'm told. I don't know. I record them. I hope that they get there. Right. That's like, that's why I can't get in. Like, nobody can get in there. I mean, I keep trying to get underneath Disney. Is that a real thing? Apple being underneath does not I 100%? Made that. Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't know. Once again, you just lesson of this get into I feel like the lesson of today's show is not to take facts from me. Or from this podcast. I mean, we have so funny. Our friends over in Russia, right? They have a point. I'm sorry. Can you rephrase that way? When it can't be our friends? Not right now. Nothing nonsense is going on? You're trying to get us blacklisted? Well, or like promoted in Russia? I guess? No, I'm just hoping that our listeners are fluent in sarcasm. Ah, and understand that by friends, I met the opposite. And now that I've had to explain it, it's gonna have the opposite effect. But point being they have what is it remove freedom of the press? So no one in Russia knows what's happening in the Ukraine. Oh, so you know, if we can get our broadcast over there, okay. You know, it would be a breath of fresh air as as haphazard as it may be more accurate than what they're getting. Gotcha. Gotcha. Now, it's all about control controlling the flow of information. So if there's somehow able to listen to all the other platforms that you were available on, yeah, they can still hear over. They should be able to tune now. They can't they can't hear you. Spotify works or anything over there. No, everybody. No, I Starbucks doesn't work. You can't get an MIT griddle. Did you know that they took away Pornhub over there too. Well, I didn't read the article, but I read more of it than the email that he sent me and I'm pretty sure you know, that was part of the email but yeah, yeah, all of their naughty pastimes gonna have to be homegrown because apparently Pornhub stands with Ukraine. And I would if I was Ukrainian, I don't know if I would take that as an insult or a compliment but McDonald's sounds again insult a compliment. These are all cola Nestle cafe. It just seems like they're trying to make them healthy Amazon like you know what we're gonna stop killing you slowly and sending you overly processed foods Amazon stands with a drink your vodka and your Well now they can't get to get these packages and beats. They don't whatever they grow in the snow over there. Money's not worth crap, but at the time of this recording. Oh, yeah. They have ripples on the news of the less than one penny. That's why it's playing RPG. But isn't that the money in Zelda not those of the money in the legends. No, that's the Russians. I don't think sell those Russian. No, he's Ukrainian. So please for link itself it could be Russian. Ukrainian I don't know what Lincoln's look I'll say Miss American she looks Baltic Yo man, well, it should fail because he wears a spacesuit. All right. That's the you need to wear a spacesuit in the Baltic places because it's so cool. That's the runway. This is on the runway. Well, I'm gonna keep flying in because I'm pretty sure her suits gonna tear through it, you know, regular earthly airplanes, go ahead and do your thing. What are your final thoughts on what we spoke about today from you know, Britney and the drugs and getting caught up for like 1013 years for the bait cartridges? She should have told them they were vodka cartridges, just, you know, the Gnosis substance of your surroundings. And in say it's that or, or hide your contraband better. Or don't play basketball in Russia. I would go with the last one, actually, because I don't think they have a single one. I think they got one and a half or something in the league right now. But there plenty of other countries you can go and smoke weed and play basketball. So just don't play Russia. You can't even get a coffee or make girdle. So what's the point of open? Tinder background checks? That sentence amuses me. Tinder backgrounds? What? I don't know. Sure. Facebook credit checks. And I don't know Instagram, social security numbers. Let's just, you know, combine all services for no reason. Yeah, yeah. Get on Snapchat, and confirm your driver's license. Because you know, you do all the pictures. Yeah, sure, why not combine it all? I think that if you need to run a criminal background on someone you're thinking about dating, you need to rethink your dating parameters. That should not be what you're thinking about. Especially so early on, right? Like, if you can't pick people that you don't feel safe around, then what is it? Like? Why are you picking this way? Are you like, well, baby for you know, what is it women of the night and male escorts and stuff that it could be safe. But if you're a normal human being trying to meet somebody and you know, at a Starbucks, then I don't think you should be worried about criminal background checks, like not not that early. If if they were normal, and now you're like six months in? And you there's all these red flags that they may have? Like, I don't know, kidnap somebody or something? Sure, go run a criminal background check. But why would you do that through Tinder, like the gist of all places, I feel like that should be the last thing on your mind if you're trying to start a normal, wholesome, healthy relationship. And again, none of those things are going to be found on Tinder anyway, so I just it's maybe I'm biased because I'm old and I met my wife on Earth in person in real time. And you know, I'm old school like that. I was nervous and terrible and awkward. And stumbled through it and here we are miserable with two kids 10 years later. Moral the story got there, use your words that you too, can be trapped in domestic bliss. Yeah, so until now, I'm gonna have to leave because I wanted to figure out a way to clean that up and post because the wife she edits the show. She thought about that before I said it. If you guys don't hear from me, it's because my wife was so happy with this episode that she felt I didn't need to record any more and more. Take This