Ummm...when you can't think of a topic...let's talk about it.
Hi, I'm Will from head above hypocrisy. Check out my Dad's Corner exclusively on Apple podcasts. Podcast. I'm not fucking Boston. Podcast, hate Boston. I hate Boston to New York in the house baby. East Coast jersey. I hate anywhere with weather. I hate all of you jersey, Boston, all the everything up in the cold Peninsula. I mean, we can't always have amazing LA. If you live in LA, you can't just have to have eight jobs. So you can live in a one bedroom apartment. You just get you could be a celebrity and drive Uber and then you can probably afford, right, right. I know my dentist pick me up and lift comes out. Your dentist picked you up to take me to a doctor's appointment. Your dentist picked you up in a lift to take you to the cars he drives left when he's not, you know. The viewers coming you know, pay for 75 and sunny, or you could go live in I don't know, the Arizona for $500. And it's 117 degrees most of the time. I mean, one of your East Coast places and it's 17 degrees most of the time. So you know, however you want to be miserable, burn to death or freeze or be homeless and comfortable. Right. Alright, we got a beach so if you're homeless, you just go live in the sand. But the whole point was to tell you that there's dad corner exclusively on Apple podcast, where you can get more advice on being homeless, but with children that I like, was amazing. Um, I didn't see that promo coming. earlier but like, you know, that was great. Anyways, um, so what are we supposed to do? The story? What are we talking about? Stop recording, or do we keep? I don't even know what's happening. Alright, well, you always seem what? I don't. Okay, well. That corner is still exclusively on Apple podcast, and I still don't like Boston. I guess this is head above hypocrisy, and I'm still will. I'm gonna go take a break and find a topic. I seem to have misplaced it apparently, after all of my hard work, searching for a topic of all the topics that I could find why didn't find this I was given. What is it? How do you promote a porn? Oh, I mean that. Yeah. Are we just talking about porn in general? We're definitely not talking about porn in general. That's that's, that would probably be on Dad's Corner. Right, which I heard is exclusively on Apples. No, no, no. Yes. Yeah. No, no, it's not. Oh, Dad's Corner is exclusively on Apple podcasts. We will not be talking about porn on the show that is exclusively about families and family advice. wasn't born a family. What family was born together what type of look, man, no, either, but like, you know, at some point, it's you have a son. And they start becoming curious. You know? It's an all the family movies. You know, it's like, Hey, son, it's time for me to show you my magazine. It's like a rite of passage. Yeah, but the thing about that is like, yeah, I guess, right. 100 years ago, there was the rite of passage of the nadi magazine, where the girl had a swimsuit like a skew. Right now all of that is on the internet, right? Which they get at five so that you can safely drive on the freeway when you like, unlock the child filter or something, I imagine. Right? Right. But like, I'm not going to give them the internet as an adult. Like, here's your talk. Here's your internet. So you can watch porn like, No, there's no Dad's Corner angle for porn. We can talk about it on this show. about the birds and the bees if we must. The birds and the bees lead to a Dad's Corner top about I don't know if you guys told you. Okay, so look, I'm invited to that show. I've been told by management, which I think is you that I'm too risky, I think for that show. Yeah. Because so far every topic you suggested has been about porn or sex. And I don't want to talk about either of those things. If I don't have to who knows robots? What the robots? Talk about? You want to talk about no robot? No. You said all my talk is usually about porn or sex, which isn't true. No, it's just the ones that you have suggested. Oh, or the family show. And then you would you lead with Why have I not been invited on said family show? Because all you talk about is porn. So if if you know if we're watching Disney movies, and you kick open the door, like, hey, what's Jenna Jameson doing these days? Like? Great question. Is she still alive? I don't have social media. I don't. I don't know. Any new porn star names. So that was the other one. Unfortunately, or maybe it's not unfortunately, though. The point is, um, that's a great question, which you asked earlier. How do you promote porn? I have no idea. You. You don't. If you know how you promote porn, you promote it the same way you promote cocaine. How do you promote cocaine? You sell it? Oh, you make it available? And people will find it when it was bought. What is it? What? Think about it? Have you ever seen a cocaine commercial? Coca Cola? I'm pretty sure it's soda. Yeah, but they have a secret formula. And I'm pretty sure that secret ingredients okay. Why is a heroin commercial? No. Have you ever seen an ecstasy commercial? Have you ever seen a Mali commercial for you? That looks like an ecstasy commercial. It's a bunch of what you? How do you prove yourself wrong in your own since you called it a television show. And I asked you if you'd seen a commercial? Well, it's like a commercial. It's like advertisement, TV shows advertise things. We advertise things all the time you advertise your show. Dads corner, you advertise your hoodies, you advertise target, which you're not getting paid for you. Once you've worn I just don't know about it, but cool. So the question was, have you ever seen a commercial for any sort of drug but they always get sold? The same thing from Port Au. about alcohol is not like a drug. It's a substance I suppose it can be abused, right? And there's advertisements for all that. Ask you you just you answered your own question. You don't haha me haha yourself. I asked you that. Anything about alcohol as you bought drugs, right? Because that's always talking about right. Drugs are more like porn than alcohol is. They just sell themselves? Yeah, and people know, the more people know and or use it than will ever talk about it. But you know, it's just quietly accepted. Whereas alcohol is out now it's the one vise that is accepted. That's why there are commercials for and stuff. And even so there's not a lot It's beer. There's not wine commercials. There's like two Hennessy commercials and that's just because Nice Guy signed a few years ago like there's not a ton there's gin commercials. I've never seen aviation gin pretty good. I'm trying to gin taste like armpit I'm not ginger vodka commercials Iraq and the weird Russian even then not a ton of commercials though. Like you're right you're right they don't cuz they don't need them true. They don't need them that kind of stuff. It's just one of those things that we'll all people will always buy but tell you is terrible. You shouldn't drink when you're going all the way mo this true what else do people not like me promotions for but they goes really well. Oh, the Bible. It technically is not a business or like he did not sell it. There's a company that sells their stock goes through the roof every time there's like a world ending event. I'm sorry. There's Bible stock. I did not Oh, I forgot to fire my financial guy. Nobody told me I'd have been bought not gonna buy yeah, there's publishers that like own stock and like the publishing company. I mean, I don't know though. I don't know that that how many Bibles are sold people will be buying Bibles like that. Why would you buy a new Bible? I mean, people are always in the same story. Yeah, but like bombs get destroyed. They get lost. They get passed down generations people feel like it's a great gift when they get a Bible hotels you Wait now who thinks that's a good gift religious people don't even think they want a Bible like that. Well, not Christians they Christmas is people in the Bible Belt. I don't think they want not for Christmas hat. There's not one Christmas Story fable or him where somebody wrapped up a Bible in a box with a bow and gave it as a gift. There's no we want presents toys, pop guns and candy canes, prisoners. They don't want them but I'm pretty sure they get Bibles for Crohn's. Yeah, but like this? I don't know. Like, at first, I wasn't mad at my financial guy. But I don't think that I don't know that it's that great of an investment. I don't think that Bibles are flying off the shelves like that. I think you know, I No, I don't think so. I feel like, I feel like if I think yeah, I don't think that they sell new Bibles all very fair, fair. Because I feel like I'm seeing the same Bible in hotel rooms since like, I was 20 years old. Do you even keep talking to keep those anymore? COVID. Right. I mean, the Bible, isn't it? You know, Jesus isn't gonna protect his own book from the virus. I don't think that's how it works. No, no, it didn't work out for all the people that the preachers that were saying it worked that way. They almost all of them got six. Yeah, maybe they took the Bible though. I don't think so. I think there's someone there. Which is interesting. Because, like, everything else we put in 15 different languages is just the one Bible we ain't got a Quran, or whatever the Buddha book it like, there's lots of different religious books, and they only put the Bible in there. You think they put some other books? And I don't even understand why. Like, who's at the Marriott? And he's like, You know what? I need to pray. And I'm not quite sure which passage to use. Let me let me open that top. Thanks, Mary. I was Psalm 38. What would you what was your? Yeah, if you had a hotel chain, what would you add any real towel? Like what would compliment some hotels? Doubletree? I think gives you cookies. Some hotels put mentally pillows or family they put mints on your cookies, what would you provide? Some people give me bottles of water, shelter. I wouldn't provide anything. I would, you know, do provide a stable internet connection. You have to pay for everything else. Actually, that'd be really good because hotel internet is notoriously worse than like tethering to a next tale chirp. You might as well what does it put a potato stick for toothpicks and it's a paid up to a potato submerge in water. Like potato internet, there's some kind of way you can like generate electricity, that I every time I'm at a hotel and I try to connect to the internet. I feel like there's like a potato somewhere trying to get me onto the information superhighway. I feel like I see a potato like trying to roll onto the freeway and I can see that and this is this is my interconnect connection just it's getting old dado is getting rolling down the 405 Getting there then I finally get on the freeway only to find out there's traffic. Um, man, so but yeah, if I had a hotel, I'd give out good internet because it's terrible. Which is weird because like he leaves the EU like if you walk a block away from the hotel, your phone works fine and it's great inside the hotel it has like excessively poor service ran their internet is bad like the internet you can pay for sucks and your phone doesn't work. Right? I feel like I don't know. Oh, hotels are built on ancient Indian burial grounds or some someone say this whole country. So now we get service everywhere but at the hotel, so that's I feel like that's where I'm at. But like, oh, because we stole the country. From the people that we we discovered it while we were last. There we go with the people already here. There we go. That's that's very thanks. Oh, I get it. Speaking of things that we get that was watching 90 Day fiance, great show on TLC learning. There's nothing else on so guilty pleasure. 90 day fiance. Really good show. I like what they married for green cards, right? I mean, some would say that what it allows would you marry someone did you know for two and a half months? I love me. Must you love to get a green card? I mean, like that one. I love America. I guess that's Patriot is the patriotism ism show. Yeah, no, I betcha Trump supporters like 90 days. Why? Because they claim to be a patriot. There's one lady that was a Trump supporter. She goes by like sexy, old lady You may see me more the Trump supporter is on 90 day fiance. I'm pretty sure she's a Trump supporter. But that's not the point. The point is you need to watch different shows. And I would say watch invincible, but they only got the one season. Coming back. I want to tell you about it, but I'm not because it's not coming. So that should be 400 seasons of 90 day fiance. He wanted to get an engagement ring to get married for his fiancee before he, you know, leaves the country wants to propose to her. And he only wanted to spend $250 on the engagement ring. Well, I mean, then the green card costs a lot of money like that's not the marriage is for so right spend the money on so paperwork, everybody can get her a ring pop done, man. Are you just trying to get to America? It made me wonder. Because every country has different traditions. And you know, here in America, our tradition is I think two months of salary is supposed to be or if you like hollow out a ring, you get a cheerio. Fine. are calling effective little strawberry peach rings or something. So no, but like, yeah, in America, it's supposed to be I guess two months salary is supposed to be how much the ring is supposed to costs for your bride. So so she quit your job right before he came here. My question is, that is an American thing, right? So like, I'm not that. Yeah, I guess cuz we messed up capitalism. That's capitalism thing. Because by that logic, you can't either you can't get married, if you don't have a job, or if you don't have a job. And you proposed and you don't have to give her anything. I mean, if you are if you just don't have a well paying job, you just get her whatever you can afford at the time. Right? So if your salary, two months of salary is like, I don't know $500 And get her 500. But if you don't have a job, but you're in a relationship, then you just can't get mad. I don't know how it all works. You have no what like two months zero is always going to be zero. So just get her on urine. If you can afford it. You got to make her something you can get like a lanyard or something. I guess. You got to get the material for so it. I don't know. I get always you teach yourself to be a tattoo artist and then tattoo a ring on your finger and that'd be a placeholder until you do enough tattoos to buy her. However much two months tattoos will afford you. I feel like it's always been a thing in like, I think it just depends on what galleries I have to bring you five cows for your what? Your daughter what other countries you know what I mean? Like I have, like, you know, I trading this much land and this much cattle for your daughter's hand. Other countries like that. It's just it's always something it's always something. I really appreciate you man, I do it because I said I want to get canceled. I thought it would be good for the show. And comparing women to five cows. That'll do it. That is how they do it in some countries not going to get us cancel. I appreciate I didn't I was trying to find a way to do it. And I was going about it all wrong. I should have just let you lead me to the promised land. And yeah, you know, I'd like to marry your daughter. Here's why I don't have cows as America. Here's two dogs a hamster and a cat. Oh, in America, you have to right I don't have a job. So I'm gonna do it the way they do in India, and I'm gonna give you seven random animals and a pat on the back. I don't know if that's gonna work in our country, man. It's a nice gesture. But I don't think that's gonna work. I think it's at least you know, you got to you got to show where's my Fido mittens. And chop, chop, chop, chop little door. It's got the Einstein ears. I think you know, or you get the mouth. It led me to another thing that I thought about which is kind of a double standard because like men don't get expensive rings. Not there's no like rule that we need to have a ring that was was the male dollar you get horses for man. We just keep the wife Oh, yeah, you don't get anything return. This is that's just a bill is he get the receipt. I'm saying so you gotta buy five cows and then pay for her for the rest of her life. Like what? Huh? Right. So I thought about the double standard is I was on ready and someone typed in on Google, uh, my girlfriend hits me what do I do? And he came up with like, different you know, articles. Like what somebody Google typed in my girlfriend hits me what do I do? And it came with a different Wow, it came like text message. No all things like violent work, like physically hits me. He typed in my girlfriend, is he like paralyzed? Can I finish? His move out the way? He typed it in Google? My girlfriend hits me, what do I do? Oh, that's why he's googling what to do instead of just moving on with different things like clearly got a learning disability. Maybe she likes you. Maybe it's playful stuff like that. Then he changed the words to my boyfriend hits me. What do I do? I have to send them a link to Hitman one. The first thing that popped up was a national helpline hotline for domestic violence. What? Yeah, so when a girl when he typed in, my boyfriend hits me, what do I do? What should I do? National helpline, a hotline for domestic violence popped up. But when he typed in my girlfriend hits me, what should I do? Different links popped up for like, does she like you? Maybe it's playful? So he's just not using Google? Right? The double standard? What double standard? So you don't see anything? I'm not what is the point? He he typed in? That he Googled what to do if you get hit? Why does any sane person why does he get different responses? What? Because that's how Google works. If you change the search, all he did was change boyfriend and girlfriend want to look different searches. When they both Ching, you both get national defense for domestic violence. Neither should why would you need national defense or national? Sorry, the national hotline. I'm sorry, the National F 15 shows up? I would like that you get the national hotline. Oh, you get a link to the YMCA for self defense. Why don't they both get the link? Why does only one get the link? I don't know. I don't work for Google. Don't you think that's a double standard? No, one of them clearly fights better than the other one. Google is smart. You don't you talk about scars on for like 20 minutes, and then open your phone, I guarantee you get a scarf. A you don't think Google couldn't tell whether or not you can fight? Clearly, you can actually clearly the dude that was getting hit initially needed to you know, pair a dodge or something. And the other person, I guess, types like a victim. I don't know, the same person typing. I don't know, I don't work with Google. I don't care. What different like what, who I don't understand what the problem is. The the helpline is there. So if you search for it, you'll find it right. But I just felt like it should have popped up for both. Why? Because I think that if you hit by your significant other, I think why should it make a difference on who gets like, if your significant other is hitting you? Shouldn't you have like, like you said, if they're if they're offering the defense thing to the hotline to one person, should they offer it to the other person also, if they need it? Well, how do you choose? They both need it? We don't know. Apparently Google knows better. I don't know. It's not me. It's not for me to decide who deserves what kind of help. Google controls their search algorithm. And they felt that that is I don't know how the results should be displayed. Awesome. Maybe because statistically, men are so much larger than women and can cause actual damage when being hit. Or doing the hitting not being hit. So like, maybe Google is doing some math. I don't know how I don't know how it works. Oh, no, bro. I also don't agree with another thing. I typed in best podcast. Google didn't have yet number one. Right. Well, you know, Joe Rogan's arguing with Spotify messing up the numbers. Just cancel him or promoting whatever you do. Just talking about it seems to be messing up my numbers. So is the algorithm going down after hearing you say that? I mean, once they figured that all out, I'm sure I will settle right back up at number one. But until then, I think the scale is just broken. Okay, so I guess that's why you just got to go over to Apple podcast, check out Dad's Corner. It's exclusively there. Yeah. And he has no control over the numbers over there. He also hopefully didn't have any children. I don't know anything about him. I don't know much about him. I sincerely hope he has not procreated we don't we don't need more of that. Any more people in the room. Not with that mind. Now, no, because I feel like there's another pandemic in our future. And if we have to Joe Rogan's I don't maybe two different types of misinformation. What if they don't have the same wrong thing to say? This is true. I understand that two giant platforms it just whatever the hell nonsense. I'm good. Alright, so you can have misinformation. My last story I have for you, which I think is a bunch of hypocrisy. There was a study that came out in the UK. And that stated the body part you wash first in the shower says a lot about your personality. Did you know that sounds incorrect? Oh, well, it was a but they did a study that they studied homeless people? I don't know. I will look to see. How is there a homeless population or homeless epidemic and the UK? I don't know. But I bet you they watch a very specific way and it has nothing to do with their personality. But more so efficiency and probably safety. Well, they say if you wash your face, what about prisoners? They say if you wash your face apparently, if you wash your face first You love money. Yeah. Yeah. This sounds like they surveyed a bunch of fortune cookies. That's scattered information, but it cracked the budget fortune cookies open. If you wash your face, you will be financially fortunate if you wash your kneecaps, you will vanish fast. I don't know why the fortune cookie came with a Chinese accent. But cookies? homes because you don't get fortune cookies with tacos? Oh, that'd be amazing. If you did, somebody should start that. Uh, if you wash your shoulders first, they say you carry the world on your shoulders. And that's exactly what you'd like to do. So you, you wash them to get the exhaustion of what if he just washed whatever was dirty first? was an all of you dirty. That's why you're getting in the shower, or what there's usually like a dirty is part. Right, like a mechanic and probably gonna wash his hands because they look, you know, like he had five he starts from Washington sands and then moves to the rest of his body, I guess. Because if he doesn't, he's gonna rub motor oil all over his face. Again, nothing about his personality. He just doesn't want to go blind. I don't think I don't think that this test is Oh, no, no, I mean, what's not tested to study? I don't think the parameters were thought out. Maybe not. Because, you know, there's all kinds of different people. If you wash your armpits first, you're reliable and attentive, they say are musty. And you can sometimes be a little naive and a lack self confidence, or have overactive pits. They make like special deodorant for that. And how many that have two personality glands and if you wash your chest, guess what? You're pragmatic. You're honest, and you're loyal, or hairy. And you're also naturally stressed, which that doesn't even make any sense. I'm naturally stressed, that's gonna be disease, you don't die. Like what I'm usually always stressed. I usually feel like one of those cartoons with the wiggly arm. Anyways, um, if you are naturally stressed, you need to make some serious life changes. Need to relax. I'm trying to make some changes. Oh, they say if you wash your hair first in the shower, you have the temperament of an intellectual and an artist football people are stupid and can't draw that kind of crazy study is the worst part of the study. If it was any other body part that was not mentioned. Then you're a psychopath. Like you're a very humble personality. However, you have an adventurous temperament. And you don't like to be bored, especially in relationship. If you wash your body in general, or your legs. I don't even remember what the other body part. Like. who assumes that I'm keeping track of what like so if you wash your forehead, then you're smart. If you wash your kneecaps your athlete, if you wash your butt you're full of crap like I don't understand what I was coming up with some some fortune cookie wisdom man I'm telling you in the UK man I mean, I think probably made fortune cookie feel like honestly, it was just a perv who wanted to watch a bunch of people be naked. And I don't think they watched they probably had to fill out a survey. Nobody telling honest truth on the survey. I'm pretty sure that's why we got the results that we got because you can't watch because you'll get sued and then not maybe not in the UK maybe or or the test pool is like eight people that just got tricked by pervert and that's all So why the results look so crazy? Nowadays, yeah, whoever you could trick off Craigslist, like that's you need actual sample size or you know, you got to assume that people are lying on their surveys. This study has not been peer reviewed. So who knows what because they made it doesn't make any sense like and then they just ran out of things so like, well the rest of the body parts you guys like to climb rocks and and skip or some I don't know I'm tired. I didn't think this was to get this far. I feel like it was I don't know a blog post that went awry. They started they were like drunk or something at three and they're like, You know what? Right, right? I got it. This is what showering means they got halfway through a little too drunk a little too sleepy. Yeah. Like, Well, what about if you wash your ankles? I don't know, man, you like swimming? I'm tired. You know, it sounds like they need more funding. They need more funding. Yes, we're here to do research on what showering techniques say about your personality. Because we can use that information. In what way to weed out the psychopaths. You said earlier. We don't know like, what if washing your kneecaps FERS means you're a psychopath who's out there, you know, right but nothing, nothing washing their toes first. But nothing that we found out from that story had any information to discern anyone's tendency to be a psychopath data mining it was it nothing to do with anybody's tendencies actually it what they said you like, financially focused, and it was a bunch of random like, I get fortune cookie generalities. It wasn't specific in any way. Well, I mean, it was specific someone they got paid to do this research. What? What do you think research projects are done, like funding for it? Alright, so I need someone to pay me to research which hoodies sell the most. Because I have a website that sells hoodies. And right now we're not moving a whole lot. So I would like to do a study. So what I need you to do? What is it Boston engineering dynamics, you're trying to ruin the planet. Before you teach my toaster to kill me. I need them to like buy all of my hoodies, and then they can sell them back and see which ones cost them I don't know what kind of stupid science you guys are doing. Buy some hoodies from our website go to head above pharmacy calm and tell me which ones you know are scientifically going to sell. Not buying them all. And, you know, selling them back or something? I don't know. Stupid. I don't understand science doesn't make any sense. I don't I don't. Yeah, we need more robots. I need more holes in my head. We know what I will say we've got a lot better weather. I think that's a robot Right? Like the Doppler radar or whatever the weather has gotten, like, noticeably more accurate. I remember when I was a kid, they'd be like, it's gonna rain. And it'd be like 87 degrees or something. And I'd be at school with galoshes and rain boots, and phenomen sweaty, take it all off, leave it at school, start walking home and start raining. Just it was there was no accuracy now. I'll tell you like minute by minute, it's gonna start raining. It's 747 and it will stop in 15 minutes. And you know, what's cool? I think that's an I won't mind that before they come to California. So before you land the plane, I see the runway getting close. I just want to say so I'm not like a Trump loving Republican. So that's not a thing that we established in public and he was a psychopath. So um, but you know, I believe global warming is a thing. But do you remember when like the I guess growing up the weather used to be a little more extreme out here. I mean, I remember El Nino Yeah, the El Nino is used to be a little more intense we had hail more often than not, which is weird. Some hail the one that often I mean, dark black cloud shows up in LA and I didn't feel like there was a 10 year gap or just didn't rain at all. Like I feel like maybe I just dream a lot in my 20s I feel like it's didn't my I didn't drink a lot so I just don't remember don't drink kids. You might miss rain. It's you know, it doesn't rain a lot in Southern California so if you're out here you really can't stay if you live you know in Ohio it right all the time. That's what they drunk all the time. They don't care if they miss it, but out here you got to stay sober so you can see the rain. That's that's why we eat avocado toast. So we can appreciate the weather. Because you wouldn't You know, not for taste tastes terrible. It's for the weather or to say that you ate it. I think that's why they eat it. So you can tell people I had avocado toast. It's kind of like being a vegan. I gotta tell you about it. Because that's why I do it. I will tell people I have pancakes for breakfast and three pieces of bacon. Did 18 Push Ups play basketball before like nobody care? That's what I did. And that's good for me. Keep your dad to yourself. That's the moral of this story. It has nothing to do with anything. Just I really don't like begins to push the other the Jehovah Witness of diet. This is my diet in the world through presumption with besides have some bacon will change your life that's what I need some head above poxy bacon. That that is how we get the show. And we'll get cancelled at the same time I get. I get the bacon support and the bacon hate all the status. You know what? We are now officially a pro bacon show? That's right. I said it. You heard it here first we support bacon. breakfast lunch and dinner eat however you want. Put on a McMuffin put a chicken sandwich. crumble it up put a salad for dinner. Bake it it's what's for everything. No, that's not I think that's a very strong stance. We don't like bacon. People with enough time to listen to all my shows that too. So yes, we are pro bacon here at head above hypocrisy. I'm standing on it. Send me some bacon. I'm hungry.