Whoops! Let's talk about it.
Whoops! Let's talk about it.
I got an email you said, we need to talk. That was the subject line. And then in the email, it says we need to talk now. That was the body of email.
William Jeffery:Now don't do that. That wasn't me that spam.
Marcus:Who said, you know,
William Jeffery:someone trying to irritate you clearly? Okay? Well, first of all, anyone that's using emails, their primary means of communication, it's irritating. Ah, okay. And then if they're emailing, we need to talk. That's even more irritating. Because if you're using a line of communication, you need to communicate some form of information. Don't just announce that you would like to communicate like that's not like that's, that's the equivalent of emailing someone a page that you would be right. That's known information, I just, you want to call back is what you just sent me and I'm not going to do it because you give any information. I
Marcus:should have known that wasn't you? They spelled your name with three W's.
William Jeffery:That's, that's the website, whatever. I'm Will. And I understand how the internet works. That's why that's where my show lifts head above boxy. This is Marcus and we just defrosted him from the 20s. It would seem
Marcus:I didn't know that. Weird if they had a blue link. If I clicked it, it took me to oh, that's your face. This is your website. We need to talk is that name of the episode? Oh, that was marketing. I was, like you said these are some of the phrases that man you just pitch trigger you it for lack of a better phrase, you know,
William Jeffery:when people talk, we most we need to talk are the what is a preface to a breakup yourself? Bad news of some sort? And or? Yeah, yeah. But usually, well, it's either a breakup or you've been caught doing something nice, both of which are good. Yeah. It's never we need to talk about your race. The worst one lately is we need to talk about your home loans. And or, you know how we can save you money on health insurance. I hate when people call me. And somebody talks to me about that. That's, that's the worst
Marcus:I can well, maybe she'll drop your intro. And then we can
William Jeffery:I see. That definitely looks like they want to talk to me. My student loans. I knew I shouldn't have took out that $200 For SMC. I knew it. I knew and I knew I told him back. Think that I need to let that go. Because I didn't even go to all $200 worth of classes. So technically, I probably owe him less than what I paid him. But you know, don't take out loans, guys, it's better off to just it's cheaper to be done. You know, also, most successful people haven't gone to school, either everybody in the middle has a whole bunch of degrees and is in a whole bunch of debt. You know, so do what you will with that information. That one little bit of knowledge right there. Thank
Marcus:you. We appreciate that.
William Jeffery:I mean, I'm just saying I went to school, but you know, I'm not super happy about it.
Marcus:Right now. I was thinking earlier now that the email has me all frazzled, you know, a list of phrases that just bothered me so much and may bother other people. Because they those phrases never start off anything like when you hear these phrases. It's never good news. Like, for instance. I don't know like if you're watching a documentary and it starts off with saying the US government like that's, you know, it's just bad news after that, no matter what they say after it. It's going to be something bad. The US government shut down the plane the US government think this the US government is harming others. It's always bad. It's always bad. It's always bad. Another one. I don't know. It's not me. It's you.
William Jeffery:Another breakup, right? Preface.
Marcus:Right. No, it's not. It's not you. It's me. A whoops I said that the wrong way.
William Jeffery:I mean it works both ways.
Marcus:I'm just saying that's another one Do you Do you have one that you can think of
William Jeffery:that are not racist. But is this usually followed by some of the most racist content? You will have the pleasure of hearing races
Marcus:but why is the button there?
William Jeffery:Because they need a segue to make a racist observation. And the best way to do that is to claim that they are not despite this observation they have that is wildly racist.
Marcus:What if they just like what should they just say the wild thing and then say whoa, I'm not a racist?
William Jeffery:No, that should fix their brain and not be a racist person. They should be better at making decisions and not stop at colors. Oh, well, what because we learn those in which grade people we learn so many more things and it just stop at the nine first they did color is my kindergarten, which is why the preschool process is so huge and you got to tour those things the same way to our colleges. And you at least know school for dogs Shut up.
Marcus:That's amazing guard dog there. I was also thinking another thing. What if they tried to justify it by saying like, you know, I have black friends? No, is that not a good just that's that that never goes well?
William Jeffery:It's funny. It's always specifically black friends.
Marcus:Right? Oh, that
William Jeffery:is very true. That's that's the one universal defense for racism. You could be you could say something about anyways, like I have been friends on a budget called The Man Oriental. And he was speaking Spanish. What does the fact that the one checkered Ralph named Jamal said hi to you twice, have anything to do with you know, they're just pretty appalling that gentleman and oriental doesn't prove that they're narcissists. Because they spoke to Jamal around
Marcus:him in Jamaat tight.
William Jeffery:I think they just makes more racist. If you have a if you're looking for friendships with people to justify your racism, that's okay. I'll be referring to this guy, so I can say something terrible about his people. That's what it sounds like to me. Escape Goat friendship.
Marcus:No free passes.
William Jeffery:No, I mean, if you want to be a racist, you just stand on your racism. That's what the rest of them do. Why are you gonna be shy about it? It's nothing worse than a shy racist. Like a quiet vegan, they don't exist.
Marcus:Sorry. No, you're fine. Oh,
William Jeffery:I really don't have a problem.
Marcus:After food. Another phrase I never want to hear. Never Want to Hear a doctor say Oops. While performing surgery.
William Jeffery:I'm sorry. You heard a doctor. Forget what they said. You heard a doctor during surgery.
Marcus:I mean, what Matt? Technically kind of a you're not supposed to.
William Jeffery:Was this surgery done in Florida? No, it was done and or Mexico?
Marcus:No. Are you supposed to be asleep for these things?
William Jeffery:Pretty sure you're supposed to be asleep for surgery? Oh,
Marcus:maybe that's why I heard him say Oops.
William Jeffery:Hopefully that was the person apply here. Yes, that might have been I mean, they said oops, you passed out. I mean, they fixed their oops, I believe so. That's what happened. I sincerely hope it was not the surgeon. Although that would explain some things. Hopefully, oops, that's not all about me. Just the tonsils. Hmm. Not again,
Marcus:you never want to hear your your chef say Oops.
William Jeffery:Your chef.
Marcus:Oh, you got to get lucky there. You're cooking. Are you chef? Oops,
William Jeffery:a more relatable one. If you don't ever want to hear what's coming out of the kitchen at the row? Is that more relatable? I'm sorry, not everyone has for those of us on Earth with normal earthly human salaries that don't have their own chefs but share one with the rest of the people who came to the restaurant.
Marcus:Well, you have like 15 jobs according to the last episode I heard so I mean, aren't you not having like a chef?
William Jeffery:Well, because I have two children. And a wife.
Marcus:More reason I have a chef.
William Jeffery:What so I can have another bill so I have to get two more jobs to pay for the chef and the car. Well, I don't know I do. As I cook my own food, any of the frames drink water so that I won't be hungry. I'd be busy paying
Marcus:any other phrases that are pretty bad. Or the doctor saying we need to talk. No, but I mean that's the same as we plus tax. I
William Jeffery:hate that phrase.
Marcus:Oh yeah plus tax nevertheless, everything would just be a solid price. Nothing ever comes good from that phrase plus tax. This terrible
William Jeffery:I just stupid is marketing, like, I understand 100 years ago, hundreds of years ago when they entered invented taxes for the first time it made sense to say things were such in such 99 to give the illusion that you could afford it. If you had like if it says for 99. And you have $5 Oh, I'm good. I have a penny to spare. Come to find out. You're 48 cents short. We all know that now, right? So I don't care how awkward it looks. If it looks like a big long, terrible word problem. I want the menu to say the entree is 1238 the steak is 2785 I don't want it to say $13 and calligraphy. And then I get to check. And it's 23 ad in Times New Roman like that. Just one price. I know that there's You're not fooling anybody is just a waste of time. And frustrating. So I don't know. I don't like paying for things. Obviously. I feel like for that reason. They do have frustrated as a kid. They cut grass, washed car, save allowance. You know, whip it, whatever you did to make money. And you go to the store, and you got your 5999 to get your check back. There's probably 3999 to get your video game. You're $4.28 short, but you forgot about tax. Well who is tax? And why gotta pay for him to give me my game. normal price they told me in advance that it was 5427 than the cut one more yard and sold one more piece of product. Oh, you know, when I was not incriminate myself
Marcus:when I was a kid. Oh, if you want to speak about that. Oh, you'll be proud of me. Here's a phrase you never want to hear that never leads to anything good. freezes the police.
William Jeffery:Crossing license registration, please. Oh, I
Marcus:mean, that's how it normally goes.
William Jeffery:Usually, there was the one time when the guy forgot that to ask me for that. Yeah. And they just pulled me over and forgot to pull over place. Pulled Over rolled my window down. We just looked at each other. He scratched his head. Looked around. I scratched my head. I looked. Was I supposed to pull over? Yeah. More silence. License and a reg? Oh, yeah,
Marcus:I finally handed my stuff. Not the same guy that did not read it. Yeah, I
William Jeffery:think it was upside down.
Marcus:And he actually admitted to you I don't know how to read these things.
William Jeffery:I'm also the same person that was told I don't do DUIs. So it will be interesting. Like to interact with me.
Marcus:Today have body cameras back in that time. Um, but yeah. Let's see what else. Ah, you've been served. That's a phrase that never leaves anything good.
William Jeffery:They let me pour Omarion man,
Marcus:not that. Not that. Not that. Not that person.
William Jeffery:Or was it fears big, big fizzle? What did I know? No member's name? That's not not the movie. There's a chubby light skin boy. And there was the normal dark skin one and Omar and he got the Indian hair. So it was always braided with man saying
Marcus:were like, I don't know, papers.
William Jeffery:The papers? Yes. You know, I was all verbal. They just you know, because they who could dance better. And then they the old boy sold out the choreography. And apparently they only had three sets of dance moves. So if you knew all of those who get out well if you didn't been served,
Marcus:when someone says the phrase It's come to my attention or it's come to our attention. Yeah, that's not good. Right? That never let it's like it's that never leads to anything good. Anyone that's listening to this podcast right now these are key phrases you should be writing down if you ever hear him run.
William Jeffery:There's, there's gestures that aren't good, too. It's like if you if you're going to apply for a loan, or you're trying to get a car or something and you give them your application and they slide it back with all five of their fingers spread apart as far as possible. Then you're not getting is that a bad luck said
Marcus:application. Okay, that in mind that in mind that
William Jeffery:will call you Wow. You know, see we have some bicycles here. It might be more in your price range.
Marcus:Manual bicycle non electric ones. No,
William Jeffery:those things are hundreds of dollars. Right? Right. You can find this thing. It's $35 bike right here. This trike right here based on your financials, we think that this would be a more noble pursuit for you. Yeah. So yeah, if you ever get the any pretty much any document if it comes back with all five fingers spread apart, okay. And they slide it for arm extension. Yes, the best Yeah, right. Not good news. That means you failed the test, okay, you fit your credit has failed, something has not passed inspection. And they want to, you know, equally disperse the weight of failure across the paper before they slide over right? So don't watch out for that people right? If you see they slap their hand away real quick ball of the paper
Marcus:to try again basically that didn't
William Jeffery:know I'm sure I passed I know. I don't know what you're talking about. That's that's what I would do
Marcus:text messages that you don't want like I'm late.
William Jeffery:Oh, my neck because I'm always i That's one of my you know, you can set the response like I have that as a text expander I did one is I might be my name. I don't remember which one but I'm late is useful. Because that way people know when I'm going to arrive.
Marcus:It's not what I meant. It's not That's not what I mean. That is that that's a version of what I meant. But that's not what I
William Jeffery:Oh, you meant the low Wayne. Yes. You don't want to wait that text? Yeah, I'm late text late texts that I'm late. Yeah. texts. Oh, because you didn't have to lay text right right. It was a quadruple entendre you have a latex latex that I'm late test I finally got it. Yeah, you don't want that when either you finally understand that song. Yeah, never got the best message. That's good. That's congratulation changed phones a lot
Marcus:any other phrase that you think wow wow I don't know why it's really popular
William Jeffery:Well, I think what's way worse than the I'm late text is the call me
Marcus:Oh, they call me text Okay, instead call me oh, well, they just like call me the text answer says Call me
William Jeffery:text me some info. Why calling for what? You supposed to tell me why I need to call you you don't have to you don't write a novel call me my foots on fire call me help call like I'm getting arrested call me right okay, well Oh, that makes sense. I left my wallet at home I have a grocery cart up whole foods full of avocados call me going to be murdered called borrow some money in follow up call me. Well, I mean, I'm probably not going to call you if you're being murdered but I'm not the police nor in Avengers What do you want me to do? And talk show hosts with come hit somebody over the head with a microphone? Why would you call me in the middle of a murder? Let me call the guy from the podcast to save me from fulfilling he's surely up to the job with man happy Jeffy listen to this show at all. I have
Marcus:heard you picked up like 15 other jobs I thought what if none
William Jeffery:of them were security? Oh, a single one. I I was a DJ for far too long. I see what happened to security guard. No. Everybody wants to test a security guard for no especially windrow there's no not that the picking up grown men by their armpits for a living
Marcus:I saw that video too. Do you mind? Is that another phrase that never goes well? Do you I mean or is it like preceded
William Jeffery:that one is it can and usually doesn't go well but it's more so that it's empty like I hate it's because they don't care if you mind they're asking do you mind as they're doing whatever it is they're asking about or they've already made up that like you shouldn't mind and this is just you know a courtesy you know thing people say to one another before they do whatever they want. So it does I think it goes poorly because people don't really care about your answer. Like do you mind yes absolutely. I do mind All right, cool. Thank you and they just do whatever the thing and we went No No I said the cool so you didn't care All right. Well then why did you just do it in this I'm going to be mad either way so just do it don't now I'm mad twice because you lied to me and ignored me and did something I didn't want you to do all in the same when you can just you know didn't want that's the trifecta. The Oh Pat Riley some money.
Marcus:That uh Uh That r&b guy that dressed like a homeless dude I think it's colored. He came up with that song can we just talk that's that's not
William Jeffery:what I thought that was jogging. No wait what and he topless who was the one? That was the shot the video just in the dark with no shirt on Maxwell? No. Maxwell the skinny with Afro we feel like a microphone. He was but
Marcus:Yeah, can we just talk by color?
William Jeffery:But a new song night it was. I forget who was one of the award shows. See if we had a woman on the show. She would know exactly what I'm talking about. Women know. It was really well, that's true. Well, I thought now just genuine. Now Maxwell you said that twice cat do you only know two r&b Are you are you gonna say us? Sure at least? God man nevermind you sure it's not Maxwell? So it's not Maxwell's? Would you tell him? Joe to see that several people first of all. Take no one to take was he was maybe I deserve right.
Marcus:I think so. No, that's right. No, I don't know. Yeah, it's 10.
William Jeffery:Oh, we got it. All right. Look, women, ladies, who was the man that got a camcorder and some jeans and that's it and sung a song. I think it pans out from his belly button and pans up right? Yeah, that's what it is not met. You could not be more incorrect. It is not Maxwell at all. That's why you keep saying. Oh my god, man. Do you know who Maxwell is? Well, if you tell me the coffee guy, I swear I'm with those computer.
Marcus:I will refrain from can I believe it?
William Jeffery:That's better than saying Maxwell again. Sure. It's anything but Maxwell, for the next 20 minutes. Say Maxwell. One more time. I promise you my inner Samuel L Jackson is going to have a temper tantrum.
Marcus:Do you remember the name of the song? At least?
William Jeffery:Because it was a topless man. And he was in shape. And I've only ever been in one shape, which is narrow. So I didn't appreciate him at all his muscles hope he was in shape and he could sing and I'm neither side saw once.
Marcus:I know you have listeners whoever is listening. I know they have the answer, please.
William Jeffery:It's really dumb. Yeah, like I know. We're like yeah, it cuz it's like the Blair Witch of music videos. It cost $37 to make. And it is a classic is some woman right now. Making her day better because some man made it worse to that song. I guarantee it. Video and all. It's a fact. It is a classic. And I can't remember, cuz I'm not a woman or a man who appreciates that type of art. But I know that it was a thing. So please help me if there is a woman that listens. I hope there is I know that. That's probably hard to do sometimes because we're dumb. But
Marcus:Ooh, speaking up. Yeah. A phrase. Are you listening to me? That's never followed by anything good. Because no matter what you say? The answer is like not
William Jeffery:know they're gonna find a way to prove that you weren't. Yeah, that's that's the problem. Yeah. Because people want you to listen a certain way. And if you don't, like, Well, it's been my experience if you're able to listen while playing video games, for some reason, that is offensive. Like if they're like, are you listening to me? And you recite exactly what they said back to you. You still get hit upside the head and I don't understand your attention, undivided. But if it's an even number, then you can divide. Like, whoo, you guys got in fourth grade. It's okay to divide. Like if if there's four and I want to divide by two I can is two in two. So I got two eyes on the video game and I got my two ears on all this complainant right and I can do both very well. The complaining goes in the ear. I see the people in the video game. I shoot them the complaining doesn't get on my nerves. It's a healthy cycle. I don't understand the problem.
Marcus:Joe Biden said you know it's never enough all of me
William Jeffery:that's what he said
Marcus:in shorten what's another? Chickens not done?
William Jeffery:That's a phrase that Pete That's another thing you don't want to hear come out of a restaurant. Oh, yes. Unless you ordered Yeah, steak. I don't care about the status of the chicken. If I'm eating another animal. We're losing vegans left and right. Receive your payment we didn't receive. I mean, it's only that's only a problem. If I sent it, I usually haven't sent it so you don't worry about irritating. Why are you gonna tell if I didn't? We didn't receive it. Well, I didn't say why would you have received it? Yeah, tell me something I already know. Yes, correct. Right. Thank you. Captain Obvious, right, right. I'm aware I would be more concerned. If I got it. We received payment notice, well, who sent that? And where did that money come from? I don't have any to share. You've been the head above hypocrisy.com. I got all kinds of hoodies it should be sold out. But they're there and available. So you know, I don't have any money to make these payments. Right? Right. That's, that's why you haven't received them. Once you once y'all go get some hoodies, then they still won't receive the payments, but I'll be happier about it.
Marcus:No, that makes that makes more sense. Anyone that is listening. They're like, Oh, this is a very interesting episode. Yeah, cuz this is free off the hand. If you want a more ruptured episode that has a lot of more wisdom, if you're looking for that wisdom, where could they get more wisdom filled episodes.
William Jeffery:I mean it's, it's a specific kind of waste. It's supposed to be parental wisdom. It's important now, I guess, if you want some structure and some, some, a little bit of wisdom, it's more it's more perspective than wisdom, because I have children and they're alive. And we've only been Urgent Care once. And that's because I broke my nose. So, you know, I think we're doing okay. Except for me, you know, and my nose. But it's fine. I can still smell, I think. But, yeah, Dad's Corner exclusively on Apple podcasts, if you would like to hear about me and my broken nose and how it helped me become a better father. Didn't I just, it was, yeah, I never felt more like a child, I did not want to tell my wife. And she was angry. She was that we have a very special relationship where I get hurt. And then I get yelled at for getting hurt.
Marcus:So one of your phrases you wouldn't want to say to her is like I'm hurt.
William Jeffery:With now I would never just come out and say I'm hurt. It's always just like, Well, hello. So some things have happened. And I'm in a car on my way to a place where they're often doctors and nurses as soon
Marcus:as she hears Hello. Um, some things may have
William Jeffery:happened that what if I've gone to go play basketball, if I go to if I've gone to go play later, then I'm usually late. And I call that she always immediately assume something terrible. Like I've broken something. But what she doesn't know is unless like, I have to go to the hospital. I'm not gonna call at all I'm just gonna come home and hide, like a wounded animal. Make sense? I was getting so much trouble. And I get it in the feed. ductable sucks. That's hard to say. The the double card. Okay, awesome. Well, it is it at all, I really don't understand insurance, almost as much as I hate taxes. But, you know, we've already talked about
Marcus:and that is the runway. Any final thoughts on some of these phrases that we I'm sure touched upon, I'm pretty sure was a lot more.
William Jeffery:Um, I don't know, I just I guess be more efficient with you. With your speech or the way you communicate? Right? Don't rely on cliches or or what other I don't know. Lazy metaphors, just you know, say what you mean to me when you say sometimes it's, it's better to be simple, right? And straightforward than just make everything sound like a TI spoken word project. Like you know, I think that I think, yeah, I think keep it simple, stupid sometimes can go a long way. We don't have to overcomplicate and or over talk things. I think that's how we get there. That's how you end up rely on a bunch of cliches and saying a bunch of stuff or doing a bunch of things that people would rather not. I hate when people do that. And then you find yourself doing it because you're, you know, you're nervous or something. You know, take deep breath and use your words. Because, you know, nobody wants a text message that says Call me. Sis test is not helpful it's pagers are a, what is the archaic way of communicate, we don't use them anymore because we have phones that can text message right? So you can send more information faster and easier. Why would you still communicate at a beepers pace? When we have, you know, tiny computers in our head? You're paging me Don't Don't do that. I'm not doctor I'm not on call. Don't send call me. Unless there's, there's literally no scenario I can think of where sending calls me is useful, acceptable or beneficial? If that's if you send me that I won't call you for a day. So I hope it's not an emergency. You'd be dead mess with me. You're gonna have to call me and tell me if you don't call me. I'm gonna die, then I'll still probably not have any more information. How did why? Why? How does that happen? Like, I don't know any action heroes? Why are you tied up with demand? I don't have any money. I don't know anybody famous like the no call better, you need to call the call Jack Ryan, or one of them. You know, leather when jumping through window dudes, leather jackets, they just always they don't use doors that just jump through windows. That's the only way they know how to enter and exit a room. In the scale and buildings jumping out of airplanes for no reason all the time. That's what you call it. Don't call me I sit in a chair and talk for a living and or drive a car. And or work on computers. And or coach. But I don't fight and or jump out of windows is what I don't do. So don't call me. And don't send me a text message saying call me because you need some help. Because I won't call you or I'm not going to help because I don't want to. And I hate being text call me. So that's the moral of this story. If you text message me, you better say something. Otherwise, I'm not responding. Yeah, but you do text. I do prefer a don't call either. I don't like to talk on the phone. I'd really rather you just text me because people don't be talking about nothing. And I love to shoot the breeze via text because I can do that at my leisure. But if I'm trying to do something and you just you know want to talk about the news that the whole world saw like you've got special live stream the CNN, behind the scenes. Me I saw the news. Yeah, we all saw the news. I don't talk about it. That's why I don't watch it anyway. I wanted to talk about it, then. You would have heard about it here. So I'm gonna go watch the news. Now, I should go watch cartoons. No, we don't do this. Go check the website to see all the new hoodies T shirts and cups up so then I'm gonna watch cartoons and then I'm gonna cry. Because that's what you do when you haven't thought