Head Above Hypocrisy's Hot Topics

Funerals & Photoshoots

December 06, 2021 William Jeffery / Marcus Burnette Season 6 Episode 2
Head Above Hypocrisy's Hot Topics
Funerals & Photoshoots
Show Notes Transcript

People continue to surprise me...doesn't everyone know proper funeral attire, SMH. 

So we're back to funeral attire yet because there was the one lady in the seethrough ensemble at what I believe was a funeral and now we have a woman dressed as to face right at the funeral she took like I wouldn't say she was to face she was definitely dressed up she was dressed more appropriately the other girl right yeah cuz at least half of her outfit was appropriate the other half is like a whole it's like a halter top on one side and business suit on the other doesn't right it's not a whole outfit is to outfit right well so the person in question that we're speaking about and your listeners may be curious that you know passengers of head above epoxy is Jane Rivera, revere Riviera, Jane. Anyways, work the pronunciation out before we started the show. I guess my like stick just purposely messing up people's names. Ah, that way like it you moonlight as a Starbucks barista, I mean, I'm pretty sure they've got a patent on mispronunciation of names. Oh, well, Starbucks, get up. Every time I get a chai tea latte. Um, while while my name is mostly the same letters, I don't even understand how you mispronounced that. But you know, good old Starbucks. That's weird. Yeah, no, I usually go to Starbucks and say my name is Marcus, but they give me somebody named like Devin. Anyways. So the weird thing with her is, she's been defending herself on social media. Why? Because she decided to take a taekwondo class. Oh, smart. No, it's good. Smart. That'd be weird to take a taekwondo class and her outfit. No, she decided what she said she was defending herself. Right like on social media. People are upset because the two phase outfit they like pick one outfit either wear a pantsuit or you wear a skirt. You can't wear both. Okay, so captain, could you introduce yourself please? I'm while also known as well and upon receipt where we do the best to put the right emphasis on the proper syllable. Yeah, no, I like to have Marcus. I'm gonna give you the story today of a woman who decided to take a photo shoot in front of her father's cough casket what took more than one picture? Yeah, definitely more than one great shots. Um, so I guess Okay, so that's I guess that's why this is worse because she did a whole photo shoot on top of her dad's casket and the other lady was just grossly Miss dressed right in the pews. Right? Like she the other woman at least wasn't trying to also do like an Instagram live during the funeral, which I'm probably sure it's been I wonder how often that happens. Somebody goes live at the funeral. Um, we can take a look into that. We'll go ahead and let's get this plane going. And um, yeah, I think I think you're gonna have to start adding funeral rules to your will now it's going to be like a nightclub. You have to dress like no plain white tees. No fitted caps. No, you know. No baggy pants. Also, no nakedness. No visible G strings, no visible bras. I think I think I'm gonna have to go work on my well. No pun intended. Also known as my while I have I think I've updated my while. accurately. Oh, yeah, no, I just the funeral expenses have gone up. So now I gotta hire at least two bouncers. Oh, I think velvet ropes are expensive. velvet ropes and bouncers to your in order. Someone's gonna enforce the dress code. Oh, yeah. I can't have strippers in to face showing up to my wake but according to a photo shoot Yeah, but according to like season two or three your I saw your playlists for your funeral. People should show up in club attire. After they there's a reception you can't not in church. Jesus is there he don't want to see all day with like, the Crip Walk in torquing Why did they not do that on Sunday? Alright, so Miss A miss Rivera. She stated and everybody pretend they're at Sunday School beyond that type of behavior to they put me in the ground and you can you know torque on a handstand all you like she is being ridiculed because she was wearing this 20 year old was wearing a fitted black one sleeve blazer dress that she stood by her father's coffin, which first of all Blazers come with two sleeves. It's that's not he can't just Add one sleeve as if that's the type of blazer, right? Like I target does not have a one to sleeve jacket section jackets have two sleeves and a blazer is a suit coat. Alright, well, she said everyone handles their loss of a loved one in their own ways. Some are more traditional, while others might come across as taboo. She says, for me, I treated this as a second celebration, as if my father was right next to me posing for the cameras is in her defense. He was right next to her and hoping, you know, technically she's right. Alright, so um, you're okay with all this. So like, let's just say you die and your daughter wanted to like, I don't know have a music video with you in it. Would you be okay with that? I mean, you're dead. So you have no say so I mean, we Weekend at Bernie's. ng me like, am I am I on like a marionette string? And are we doing a tandem tic tock dance? Or how is this? We'll start. We'll see your comfort level. We'll start with her just posing in front of her house skip. I mean, I don't I don't know that. I've seen the pictures. She's like posing. She just seems way too happy for her dad to be dead. I really think she's a supervillain she looks like to face his wife. Like, it's two separate outfits sewn together. It also looks like the funeral took place in a fourth grade classroom. Yeah, no, the background is very odd. It's not like a part of me feels like this dress that I'm guessing is supposed to be expensive. And that's why it looks insane. Maybe she should have got her dress from Target and spend a little bit more money on the funeral, you know, procession proceedings and venue. Okay, because I'm pretty sure they did it at the local elementary school. And that's, that's unfortunate. They didn't do it in the auditorium. Like it's in a classroom. I can see the chalkboard behind the casket. There's a lot of things wrong with the picture. Right? Like it's beyond that she's only half dressed appropriately. Ah, no, that's definitely not an auditorium. Because the auditorium has the the theater seats that are all like bolted down and connected. Those are moveable chairs. Definitely. Nobody has an auditorium full of folding chairs. No school is that poor? Is she inappropriately dressed for the now the other ladies way worse? No, the other the other lady had on lingerie and saran wrap, right? Just that none of it fit properly. This woman at least half of the clothes fit right. The half that are you know, it all fits right? It's really confusing to me why she'd want to have a one sleeve. Blazer. Well, I mean, you're still okay with the foot. She has eight photos. These are that one looks. That's just so the thing for me is I don't I feel like it's unless she went last then it's just rude because I've seen women take pictures on Instagram. And that might have made the funeral last a whole extra six hours. Like if she took eight pictures with photos. That means like for each picture that we saw, we're talking hundreds and hundreds of shots to get each singular picture so that she probably took 1000s of pictures. And God only knows how long that day they don't take them rapidly right? They take one look at it. Nope, I need to turn half a centimeter left put a little bit more makeup on my forehead less on my eyebrow have a best friend she does all that crap. We're so what? Like if if she did not go last and I feel like this is the portion where like people get to come up to the casket and pay their respects. You know, say a prayer say like, ah, you know, even pour little Hennessy out right next to the guy. I would even be okay with that. Okay, but but no photoshoot only because we can do a photo shoot. If you go last right? You're gonna close down the church taking pictures in front of a casket. That's what you want to do with your time. Fine. That's how you're going to celebrate indoor mourn your father's death. Cool. She's right, everybody handles last differently. But if you invite people to a funeral, and you want to allow them to also mourn and or pay their respects in the traditional fashion, you should not take six hours doing a photoshoot at the casket where they're supposed to pay their respects. So the only way that it makes sense is if she goes last and it still doesn't make a lot of sense. But then at least she's not holding the funeral guests hostage while they you know uncomfortably watch her pose in front of her father's get like a lights going and there's no studio lights. It was it was a whole Senate I mean, and we don't know the back like what the fuck maybe the father was a photographer and only photographed his daughter and this is like a tribute to how they used to like who knows right like they're just pictures we don't know any of the backstory people post all sorts of ridiculous things on the internet for all sorts different reasons. There could not even be anybody in the casket maybe it's a Halloween prank, right? Like we don't know. It's who knows? It could be anything. It could be a bad it could be a be horror film, come out where there's a hashtag casket selfie challenge. And then taking pictures in front of caskets. And then you know, the one girl does it and smile sits about the casket knife in the back of the head. You know, it's a whole horror film. And it's just that was the first ad for, well, maybe you just got it, you know, and then DH can't talk about it. So now she got to defend herself until the trailers released. I'll give you one guess to guess where it where this took place in Florida, of course, Florida, because they have no sense. Well, I mean, if you feel like if your IQ is a certain number, they don't even let you in Florida. Well, let's play a quick game that you might enjoy. It's called a guess what race they are. Well, what happened? Were they arrested? But can I give you the clues first? You said they were arrested. It was a black person. But I have wait, were they beaten before they were arrested? Okay, forte. I'll ask the questions. And then you give the answers because if they were arrested and then taken to a fast food chain, then it was a white person. Okay, you know, let's, let's actually, let's get wrong. No, you're so how about this? I'll ask the question. And you guess what race there I kissed? Yeah, but I didn't get asked a question. You're asked all the questions. Sorry. I'm not good at these games. Okay, you're not my fault. It's okay. Go ahead. Ask questions. All right. I'm ready. Alright, so recently on a flight from JFK to California, it was diverted to Denver a place and what's turbulent the reason why it was diverted is because a fight broke out black a fight spirit airline attendant told on let's change. It might get bonus points for picking the airline. Oh, I would definitely give you bonus points to get the airline right because a fight on the plane had to be spirit. Well, unfortunately, American Airlines oh man, they paid extra ticket spirit treatments messed up they could pay $25 and got the exact same experience. So no, no alcohol was involved. Unfortunately, the flight attendant mainly sober. Gotta love the mistake of telling the passenger to put the mask above their news and the passenger decided I'm going to punch you in your face. The stewardess are stored with a lady by the Senate got a flight There we go. That's then you don't have to gender eyes. Right. It could be anybody. Right so flights, I got punched in the face like a fire person. The flight attendant was a woman. She got punched in the face by a man. All right, you get one point for finding out the gender This is going great. Well, women don't generally immediately resort to fighting. Yelling but it takes a lot longer cuffs are not throwing up. First they have to take their face nails and hair off so you can't Ameet like if she immediately punches she's gonna break her own hand and possibly stabbed herself with acrylics or perish and they were were like to a point now like vampires or werewolves. Yes. So if anything scary it would have been a scratch and then I would have known it was a woman like some lady got one of her eyes cut in half. Buy some Cardi B nails right now. I don't know why they make him so sharp these days. They used to wear him flat like what is the Delete press on? Yeah, like little shovel? Yeah. No, no now they're like their weapons dagger. Yeah, and they use Gorilla Glue. Also they like they they're on there but I saw make the stylish shoes that pop. She looks like Black Panther hands. And big strong How do you do anything with those anyway, so I bet you she could open a lot of pickle jars. The American Airlines said this. This passenger would no longer ever be flying with them ever again. Which I don't immediately punching people in the face. They're banned for life excuse me sir. The fasten seatbelt sign is on. No, you can't. That's not no you can't fly. You can't ride Ubers Oh, that person is likely going to be in prison. Their next place they'll be told when to shower and eat because if you can't have a conversation without immediately punching people, I don't want you know, in public spaces. No, no common areas for you. So did they like Okay, so like I mean, you've been on airplane recently during a few airplanes and you have to wear the whole mass the whole flight it's hard to do. I don't understand why people need to be reminded to do it. It's I'm more concerned about the mental state of the pilot. You could I could wear a whole clown man. I don't care nothing about what's on my face with the pilot is the pilot need to wear a mask because if he doesn't want to wear one, don't make him wear one. I'll catch COVID As long as he put this plane back on the ground safely. Right. I've been vaccinated I can handle COVID They don't have a vaccine for plane crash. Unfortunately, if I took the plane crash vaccine and who cares right but especially since you hate turbulence, my wife asked me why I don't hate turbulence. I told her because once I'm in the air, I just automatically assume that if the plane falls off Like the sky I'm gonna die I don't even like I'm not oh my god I'm playing crashes work yeah no usually everybody dies right except for the black box which I don't understand why they don't just make the whole plane on the black thing oh they if they if they made the plane out of the black box material the plane wouldn't be able to fly be too heavy which is science and the Lord telling us that we're not supposed to be flying because if we make it out the safe material then it doesn't fly doesn't work what that's because we're not supposed to be up in the sky. Right everything's supposed to fly is already up there and it's built to do so. So all the clues you have they were flying from New York to Southern California they attacked a woman flight attendant they punched her directly in the face was a middle aged white man. Wait, wait, wait that's the only type of person that immediately resorts to punching in the face. When arguing with a woman and listen and or smaller, weaker person and head above hypocrisy listeners and passengers you're more than welcome to play along to with the clues I have. Like if the story just hit Earth the flight attendant had been a 12 year old or something I'll still middle aged white because it could have been 1212 year old male but anybody they're not like Caitlyn Jenner even though that in the mix, do I think that's who punched the flight attendant? Quickly Caitlyn. I'm sorry I was generalizing all transgenders as Caitlyn Jenner my apology. You just You wanted me to guess that it was a transgender person that is just not ever going to be my guest but you know why I don't know enough about their idiosyncrasies to be able to play that is that is gender behavior like because we fight now you don't instantly black person we be fighting right and then when you heard that it was immediately a punch to the face after being hassled after being asked to follow a rule once that everyone else is already following that everyone that leans way into middle aged white man can like territory that's that is the what what I have to follow the rules. Everyone else is following you die. How dare you oppress me as a white man on a plane? I shall do whatever I want. Spread my virus. Grab you and have a drink like that's, that is middle aged, white man material. If it's another race, then you know they're they're impersonating Steve from work will surprise the new Are you ready? And everyone waiting at home who didn't already know the answer to the story? Are you ready? It was a Fijian woman. Wow. Now you say that people from Fiji or the Fijian I would imagine, I should have said somebody from Budapest I still that's what I want now that I have a tiny tiny platform that I can speak out into the internet. People from Budapest, what do you call yourself? Are you Buddha pints Budapesti. And I don't know how to make Budapest plural. I would like some help with that from anyone. Yeah knows the answer. I mean, I would assume it'd be someone from Budapest I guess you could be just like a geography teacher or something. You've got two people in Budapest the shows that no no, I'm just saying like that this show is on the internet. And it's it can be heard by like people that don't live on my block. I only have the radius of my travel and you know, vocal cords locally but with you know, the show reaches beyond myself. Right. So there's anyone out there not necessarily specifically in Budapest, but maybe they've been to or have experience with people from there and know how to refer to them. Are they Buddha pints or Budapesti? Ian's is my question. Well, the answer. I hope they're Buddha pints. The answer to the question earlier is a is an Asian man. I was gonna I was gonna say watch it one. I was gonna say watch it be Carlos. The Heat Man, they wouldn't do that because I'd be afraid to get into it. Yeah, no. So he was asked once to put the the mask over his nose. He decided to manner Oh, he hit her 17 times in two seconds. That's crazy. He won't be charged. I felt now he couldn't have done that. No, that's like the number one rule in martial arts is discipline unless he's the supervillain in the mark kung fu film. That's like you know, it's all about discipline, discipline discipline. And then there's the one guy that's like, nah bump that discipline stupid. I'm gonna just stabbed in the face. That makes sense. Yeah, nobody's ready for that because you know you're supposed to evolve that might have been him. He definitely maybe he's the supervillain in the upcoming you know, kung fu film on the plane. So okay, so this leads me to wonder karate on a plane. Why Samuel L Jackson is going to be a cameo are people on a plane to why are people so dumb? Like, remember the the girls that like cussed out and assaulted the Uber driver because yes, I'm aware. I do remember The Okay, and then I wouldn't guess their their nationality they were like, Armenian or something right like, I think one of them is Armenia. I think one was Latin I don't know. It was a very it was a very caring thing to do and they weren't, you know, they were not typical carry race. So they got that one wrong too. I would have never guessed an Asian man. Right? No, I was what you know what? It makes sense because they often work in industries dominated by middle aged white men, right. So you probably mean the white man for what beige? Absolutely. That's where he learned the behavior for what, how, where else would he learned to be told to follow again, a rule that everyone else is following? He's like, You know what, I'm gonna just martial arts or as his upbringing. That's what Tom is terrible, sensei. Nah, it's worked. It's because he works in an office with 18. Tom's and every time they tell Tom, you know, not to leave the printer on. He leaves the printer on last time. So what if the flight attendant was white? Would it be okay? It was like, Oh, well, he was oppressed. I have no opinion on white on white crime. I let them handle that. It's none of my business. Right. Like, I'm a huge proponent of minding your own business. Those are two people, you know, having having a disagreement, let them figure it out. They don't have their disagreement in my aisle or my row. Keep it you know, banned for life. $45,000 Fine. You think that's enough? Not banned from the airport only banned from that airline? I would not have I mean, spirit. Yes. You cannot let that person back on your airline if he assaulted one of your flight attendant banned from light for flying. Flying is a privilege. It is not right. Now, you want to die in a big iron casket? That's his own. You know, this is right. Just not at that airline. It's his privilege. He has every right to fly. No, you don't have to fly. You can there's other modes of transportation. You don't have to travel. It's I don't think it's a privilege if you can pay for it. Right? Like because if you can afford it, then you can do it. I can afford cocaine, but I don't pay for it. Well, then, cocaine is your right if you have the financial means to do it. It's not a privilege. It's the same with flying. Right? Like, it's I don't, I don't look at it as privilege. I look at it as a chore really. But the it's, it's not that I'm allowed to do it because I can afford to do it. If I didn't have the money, then I wouldn't be able to. It's not a privilege. It's a it's a luxury, I guess but it that's what it is. It's a luxury. It's not a mistake. It's not something that you need to relive. So yeah, but it's not. It's, you know, it's not a privilege. You don't reach a certain tax bracket and and just get like frequent flyer miles, right. Like, that's how privileged you don't get a tax break. In, you know, you can fly, you could take three domestic flights because you make so much money, right? Like, that's a privilege in my mind. So it's more of a luxury, but terrible, and I hate flying. You know, a metaphoric airline gives a lot of perks to their listeners. What metaphoric airlines do you know how complicated of a question that is? How would I know about all of the metaphors involving airlines? Well, I'm met with like, me calling you captain Anjanette. You want me to tell people to buy shirts from the website? Right? I understand. But that was a really complicated setup. Like you threw a behind the back through the legs. Lob from the parking lot and we're like, why didn't you windmill it? Because you're tall you should be because the game hasn't started now at home. That's why I feel it that's how confusing Oh, boy, you got there. But you know, if you do are in front of a computer, and you are still listening, I you know, totally can't hit over the head above boxy calm, the T shirts are far less complicated than the sales pitch, you just click the button and punch in your your address and we send it to you. So yes, that is an option. I wouldn't wear it on an airplane though. I would focus more on dog tags so that they can know where to send the remains. Oh, wow. Are the air tags. What are air tags? Apple has it like you can tag things. Apple has air tags, like you know you may AirDrop you can AirDrop files, but they have like some type of tag thing. Like a tagging service where you can like, tag your crap. That sounds just like regular old tracking Batman with Tag villains. Yeah, but it's a bad tag. Right? It's the same thing. Is that a thing you can buy? Apple Oh man. Alright man. I'm gonna be captain apple. You get 47 Little Apple tags. I could dress up like one of those, like all white putty suits, and then put the apple logo on my face. Like the squid game guys, and put the hood on, you know, hide on top of buildings and throw Apple trackers on people I could track the whole city I don't need a runway now I'm a superhero. So I don't I don't use you in this Asian man punching stewardess. I would never. I would never put anybody on an airplane. I am too busy. That's, you know what that is what I do all my churching is when I'm on an airplane. That's when I talk to Jesus. That is when I need us to be on the same page. I need to know if it's time for me to come join him or if he's just playing on the ground. You know, nice and gentle light is the safest mode of transportation. Except for walking. Unless you're black man. Anyways, go ahead and wrap it. Well, it depends on where you're walking, right. Like don't walk to Orange County. That's not safe. It's not safe. I would I would rather fly on top of a helicopter than have to walk as a black man through Orange County. I think it's safer. Like when no Seat belt just sit on the windshield and guide the helicopter pilot like watch me ghost ride the copter. That's that's what I would rather do than be in Orange County as a black man. But if I were a white man that would be my Mecca. In you know where I live locally. There's other better places for white people. California Orange County is pretty great. For two I thought punched not terrible for Asians. I don't think not great black people. I guess I should land the plane. Stewardess. I would also fly it. Why don't keep saying that? Because? Yeah, I was gonna say I think that's my, my new unresolved. What is it? chauvinism? Right? Is that what that is? I mean, it was forced on us. That's all we knew. Yeah. And I just I'm having a hard time fixing it. No, like now we get cancelled because Colin, what if they're stored in store this is there is a you know, you make it not just like fires and trusses, but now it's just actors. They're both the I believe, I believe like actress at Blue substitute. It's like actors. These are just the probably because Caitlyn Jenner male and female actors. Because that's what they are actors. Oh, and they can play either role. Gotcha. And they usually do have to play. You know, that whole conspiracy? Like in order to make it you got to dress up as a woman at least once. It worked for Tyler Perry. It worked for all of them. Oh, in the Wayne's brothers, every single one. Really? Oh, not Denzel Washington. Correct. I mean, unless there's a movie, but he didn't he had to be a gangster and get shot to death. And he done a lot of true better films. Even Wesley Snipes. Oh, yeah. Was a two to four with John Leguizamo shots with John and Wesley Snipes. We're getting off topic anyways. I see your point. It's a lot of work. A lot of them had to do it. I won't do it though. Not not for the pod, not for the picture. I wonder if that's what black podcasters have to do. We have to do like pretend to be women on the mic. If the checks nice. I wonder if I'd like raised my pitch and the more people will listen. I do it for a seven figure salary. Now eight figures. I guess I do have children that thing. Yeah. Your salary I'm saying what does that what does that he do? He pretends to be a woman on a podcast. Well, actually it would be a lesson to explain priorities and math it would be more of a math lesson than me explaining what I do ah the more I do this because it pays this much otherwise never do this. I mean, according to IRS man everyone has a price and I got you anyways well everyone because of the society we built right course if we did if it wasn't capitalism, then everyone would not because we placed a value on money in fairness. You can't not have a price and live in society you cannot but force people in the woods admittedly you know the tribes Yes, yes. They don't have a price seminar Island people that's why we just killed them we don't understand why we're not allowed to like meet them because they actually kill us. Who kills what now this seminar lease or seminar? What was it? You said? Tribe? There's still tribes killing them all right. No, there no there's like, I think 15 or so like untouched tribes in the world. Oh, good for them. I'm touched. That's what they're COVID numbers are to sell. Well, on that note, I've been will and I'm pretty sure I have now cancelled but if not, please buy a t shirt. Because I would like to No big Marcus's did. I have offended him