The holidays are here - I feel like I have a part time job preparing for Christmas, smh. ~Part 2 out tomorrow~
The holidays are here - I feel like I have a part time job preparing for Christmas, smh. ~Part 2 out tomorrow~
Oh, you're saying? Yeah, I was thinking about like, you know, Carolyn, I mean tis the season right? My apologies Carrie I did not know that was happening. I'm not having music so you're gonna have to Carol alone is gonna be solo not happen have a I can play the tambourine early Christmas or the the bill the stick Bill Felice Navedo no Abloh that's all so this whole festivity it's it's weird off camera they can't see it but it seems like I don't know nonsense hanging around a while but there there's lights in here. Ornaments. What is what is this? What are we doing? Cradle cradle cradle? I made it out of bread. I a cradle cradle cradle. I ate it instead. I think it's made out of clay. I'm laid it out a clique. Isn't it Draco? Draco jado. I made it out of clay. I thought that they made it out of bread. And instead of playing Gradle they ate it up instead. Maybe we should introduce ourselves. My name is Wil and I do not remember the Gradle song correctly. I haven't heard it in a while. You know, I'll have to reach out to skills for that skill. No, but he does the wrap up. Oh, so he what? Those don't correlate. Alright, so I'm marking so I'm your co pilot. And this is what another exciting episode of wills head above hypocrisy. Um, I guess this is like, a lot of holiday questions I have because you know, it is the season. There's garbage holiday music that we hear forever. You know? Let me get my thoughts together. Do you want to just drop the intro? Why don't you like holiday music? There's no like Nat King Cole. It is called Last call when they had the black people with the Dick Van Dyke here do pretty shows called Musee Malcolm X. Malcolm X and Nat King Cole had the same haircut No, I think. Yeah, so I can't believe you like throughout the whole intro. So no disrespect to Malcolm X. Or Nat King Cole. Or any relaxer product companies. I'm just saying that at one point in time, they had similar hairstyles because that's what was trendy. At Yeah, no, Nat King Cole things the chestnuts wrong. Right. Which we are celebrating right now. Yeah. Oh, I thought we were celebrating one of the greatest moments in capitalist history. The Valentine's Day No, that's in that's after like three holidays. Wait, we got to get to Christmas first. No, it's the end of the fourth quarter. You have to have that one push for sales. You know that's only like the three brick and mortar businesses left like Best Buy Walmart has so hard you know, Amazon has the yeah Cyber Monday that was last week. I have like another winter sale coming in. Now they there's just December Amazon if there's prime use that they have that sale going? Well, you know, since we're all talking about this, I've been thinking about Christmas. It's such a production now. Yeah, I realized that it is not my hot like Christmas was my favorite holiday up until I had to write produce saying all the hooks right I'm tired man. I just it's a lot. And and that you know, I am married and I have children and we have that my wife and I have had we both had very good Christmas is Christmas sigh How do you make Christmas poor? We both had very good childhood Christmas experiences that's really changed the whole sentence when you don't know how to use the word properly that great Christmases? Sure, I guess you did, did you? Cuz you please what? To do. So at any rate, um, they're both good, but they're different. So sometimes they can be styled clashes. Okay. But uh, yeah, no, it's just it's a lot of work. And questions like what, like decorating the tree? Oh, well, so we haven't even Got a real tree? Since we have had humans right like both of our children are they've been alive for five and six years on this earth. haven't ever smelled a real Christmas tree. Okay, they just smell candles, presence and garage because that's where we did you know I grew up with the tree you just grew up with a tree. No no I think she heard they have the same tree at now that they had when she was a child. Oh, they store it better than we we store ours but that's a story you probably dive into soon. I'm sure so you had a natural tree? What kind of like did you have the because my mom was Douglas first I don't take him That's what's up. My mom was ethnic so she likes to throw the summer garland all over it and the look the frost the White Frost it was yeah, it was terrible. Like she did that for majority of my childhood and then I asked her if we can just have like regular lights. She looked at me sideways. But you know, that's just a little bit of Marcus fast anyways. No, I Well, so sorry, I'm just going through a dark hole. Oh, yeah. Just Christmas. Do you enjoy your decorating? It was difficult for you. I enjoyed that. We had the whole Clark Griswold experience as a child well. I don't know in my seven to early teens Maybe Dad decorating the whole outside of the house and stuff on a ladder on the roof. Oh lights although we had to test them every year throughout the dead one Yeah. Like the oldest ones lasted the longest. The newest ones died every year. I'm pretty sure they have built in obsolescence in these stupid lights. I've already been on the roof. Oh, this morning. I actually I was on the roof putting Santa in our chimney. Which is Which is terrifying. I don't like it. I got a bad knee and the roof is steep. Yeah, no, it was not fun. But I did it and lighter and it's very festive. And that was least of my worries. The tree was probably worse so before we go back into the tree I have a question about the outside thing so like you know the whole you know styling your show just I mean as a kid I didn't care I climb on the roof jump up and down because I my parents had Kaiser and it didn't cost me anything right but like now all I got on the roof. And I just started calculating medical bills. Is it tougher that you're you're in a neighborhood that has to decorate? Now because we got like, we have shack foot hedges so nobody can see our decorations on it. So we can choose to be decorative. And if we opened our door and let you peek in decorations because we decorate the shrubs around the house. Are you guys gonna decorate the shrubs? No, no, no, we're not. I climbed on the roof. I'm not fighting the bugs in the shrubs. I'm not nope, not doing it. I risked my life once for decorate, right? No as you should, everybody? I did. Well, you did your part this year. Right? Like, yeah, not doing anything else. So let's just say like, Okay, so in those neighborhoods that have those mandatory, not mandatory, but it's like, you know, Candy Cane Lane, stuff like that, where people go and see all the Christmas lights and stuff. And they pay atrocious amounts of money to have their home decorated. The thing about that is they pay other people to do it. And that's like, for me that's like having a ghostwriter, right, like you can't you still pick the design. I'm pretty sure you're like you don't want this. They're that they're right. And if you're an r&b artist, yeah, that's cool, right? And if you know and if you are, if you're doing your landscape, that's fine. You can pay someone else to do your landscape, but you put your hand your own decorations, or you don't participate. It's like hip hop is street. You know, it's real out here. Nice, nice decoration streets. So like the whole like you said, Chris Griswold National Lampoon go out, yeah, and read it, or a foot ladder at least if you're gonna hire help them they're there to help you do it. You know, sit in the house and drink cocoa. While you know. Jose and his friends from Home Depot. Hang your lights. That's not you know, I don't it's not the same. i That's not how I experienced it. It wasn't an option like either your you and your family hung your lights or you didn't have lights? You know, he put a Christmas tree in your window and neighbors seem to go extreme sometimes. What would you do if you had a neighbor just had one of those like, grotesques super bright I can't like the girls walk in the hedges. It doesn't matter to me decorate no decorate I know it doesn't I don't care. You know, blinded me. We're not gonna be like the the girl. I love the girls wall because the girl from Seinfeld, right? Yeah, she keeps falling down stairs because the lights are on and they're really bright. They are they are actually right. I wouldn't bother. Yeah, cuz you bet just now. Yeah. And the rest of them. They all sleep like grizzly bears. So you know, a tree fell on the house and I was the only one that woke up. I don't think they were about some lights. Okay, well, let's let's go into that back to the tree thing. So He said the tree things different my tree past terrible. No ornaments just all white and weird. So there were no ornaments. No. Oh my Lord. Yes, terrible. A whole nother episode unpacking your Christmas. I don't I don't know what no ornaments any therapy for that. So anyways, so Alright, the whole we both had ornaments our trees were just, you know mine had DNA hers didn't Okay, so I mean, and the kids now have a artificial tree, right? They do that they've never experienced a real tree. And I mean I don't I felt I well I used to think I had more time to allow them to experience that. But our daughter has recently started arguing with our son that Santa doesn't exist already at the ripe old age of six. So next year probably is going to be a real tree because that might be the last year we have any magic left and these you know, super analytical children right were raised. But no, it's been it's been a plastic tree. We had a plastic we had a plastic tree when we first moved in together, we didn't have any kids. And we had she had a whole meltdown because, well, it was a bad idea. We left that we had moved out of the plate like she had roommates. And I was like, crashing it. The roommate plays with her a lot. And then finally and everybody was like, Well, you guys need to either like he needs to move in or you need to move out. Peace out then so we left. Yeah, um, and we left to the tree base at the old place. Okay, and I tried to construct like a tape base out of duct tape and angles to hold. It was a horrible idea. divert it. Yeah. And it didn't work. And she's got all upset and then we just drove over to the place and she still had like the garage key. Sit right there. You guys stole the we Oh, JD was our stuff. So yeah. Oh, Jay stole it back. I don't think it's stealing it. And it was in the garage. We didn't technically break into the premises. Right? He still had the key right. I mean, they I mean they technically let OJ into the hotel room. When he had a bad lawyer if he got went to jail for that he would continue to go to jail for getting laid in a place and taking your own things out. He brought America Yeah, yeah, we brought the we fixed it and then we put it up in it but that tree I think that it be moving at some point between the children and cribs and something. So we had we we had one tree. Initially, I think when when the kids were, I don't know one in two and that one lasted for a good few years. It makes a good fig tree. What makes a good I have no idea. They're all the same to me. Yeah, we've had to have my wife on the show and explain the how there it all ended. Well, the lights are very important, which I learned afterwards. Green lights I learned this year about how light lights in the tree like the lights you put on the tree? Correct? Well, it's cheaper first pre lit trees. What is a pre lit Wait, if you buy a fake tree, you can buy it with lights already installed in the tree. It comes with like plugs. Yeah, it's like a iRobot tree. Why don't feel stupid. I never knew there was poorly lit trees. The tree we had up until this year was pretty late. Oh, and one we can app where you can change the colors. It's not well that probably now. Upgrade ours was analog, you plug it in the light turn on. It was real old school. Okay. But so we had that one, but that we got we had we had that one for a few years. And we got a dog and the dog decided to chew through the Christmas tree wire. So you got electrocuted itself? No, no, she took the dog to the emergency room. And I was like, that's a life lesson. You know, you know, you know reward, right? The dog was America since the dog. I mean, when we had to like we bought electrician tools to put the tree back together. Again, because it was pretty late. And she didn't have the real tree experience. Because if you have a real tree, you have to hang lights on the tree every single year. So it might like I was I was sitting here with the electrician wires and licensed stuff and in you know, clamping things back together hoping that I'm not gonna melt the whole tree down thinking why don't we just buy lights? And a real tree, right? I mean, if we're not gonna buy a real tree, we could have just bought lights not plugged the ones in that the dog chewed through and hung new fresh lights on the tree. But you guys never go chop down a tree because you said you're eventually going to do the real tree it doesn't have to be that dry because I didn't that that was not my childhood Right? Like I grew up in Southern California there's not you know, we would have to draw like big bears. Like you know, there's so many tree lots between here and the nearest forest. That is not it logically doesn't make sense. So we were you know, so you guys would do the hyenas lot or whatever, you know, now that it's a whole experience of a lot of jungle gym and Santa and lollipops and reindeers it was just a fence and trees in a parking lot. It was real ghetto, but that's where we got the trees from Target started hearing them and they got you know, it got it got real corporate when a little bit older but that was when all the magic was gone anyway so it's like yeah, sure, you know, Costco should definitely have trees. But um great, so we had to MacGyver the tree back together we did that and then the next year have three lit up. And that was understandable because it was hung together by duct tape, electrical tools, hopes and dreams right? So the fact that it was lit and not on fire was a miracle. And we stored it and then had the nerve to try to use it again next year. It was a win in my book. So now we had to do that you know you string new lights you go by naked lights and you just hang them on the part that doesn't work. We did that and finally the tree just stopped working like this year we died like yeah like so the lights the new life didn't work the old the tree lights did nothing work did the half that was was lit before didn't work was completely dead, right. So we order a new tree from Target. We thought the tree that we thought the exact same tree that we had was on sale. So we you know, the lightning quick or super fast fly for us to target with kids in the car gets the tree comes back. Same trick kids have to like carry the tree in the back because we have like an SUV but it's a small SUV. So that is silly like that. Yeah, they get back we get trees. It is yes. But no, because it's not pre lit. Now we just have a fake. You take a real tree. Now because we didn't already brought it home. And the kids have been begging to put you know the decorations on the tree. So at six this morning, it's now one o'clock in the afternoon. We've been trying to get the tree together since a probably eight, nine o'clock. Okay, so we're exhausted, we're frustrated. And like I did take the idea of going back to target and doing a return and do that whole song and dance just is it's easier to buy lights. So question not just to interrupt the story. It's just such a production. It is like when you were a kid, did you even think that you'd have to, like even if the tree burned down or like was ruined. It's just that's the it's, it's the difference experience. Right? Like I that was part of that's part of what it was. That's that's why we tested all the lights because you had to set aside a few sets translates to go around the tree and the rest of the lights went around the house. And then once it didn't work, you throw away and you go to the store and you buy harnesses because every year they're reinventing the Christmas light. So and those are the ones that always break the new hotness. They never last but those big, big bulbs that yeah, those those lasts forever. When until you become an adolescent, and you find out that they make this cool popping noise. And then miracIe you know, they mysteriously all break one Christmas. So that's just the tree. And I'm pretty sure the story's not finished. But just if we can put a pin in that that is tree tree. Yeah, that says that you will because rest of the house is decorated inside our house. Yeah, the kids have their own miniature trees is that was a whole decorating after that. Yeah, yeah. My wife had a very specific vision for the for the artificial tree, which I find amusing all in and of itself. It's fake train. Like she's getting mad at it wasn't putting the lights on, right? You're with me for the light part. We had to go to ace. Yes. The tree wasn't lit by the lights. So now we've been $40 worth of lights your husband, you never do anything. Right? Right. I forgot about that. I forgot about that. It was yeah, no matter how hard you try, and she was very, very upset no matter what I did. I mean, I believe you even said, I don't want you upset because I'm gonna put these on the lights or put these lights on the tree. And if it's bad, just tell me because I don't want you to have to redo it. And she probably had to redo it anyways, she eventually let me just finished after like I watched because what what it was and she refused to explain in like, a way that I understood how she wanted it to be like she had a vision that she could articulate just yet and she was frustrated that you know, that it was the wrong choice. Right like that's it that's that's understand you in your mind. You've got one thing another thing right like yes, I'm gonna have to have to deal with all this nonsense if it was an uphill battle and all the while the children are running around in circles. Can we decorate? Can we decorate? Decorate? Why is it taking so long? To hang this here? Um, so you know, it was just it was a complete circus. So I got it. I was just speaking all the boxes of life because I left before you had them all on there, I believe. Um, did they all work? Yes, but there were not enough. Um, I think we debated that too. And I was in a rush and I just was like, No, we're gonna take what I already have my hand because I want to think about this anymore. We're hurting get back before she said the children or the tree on fire because I know she's upset and I Yeah, I really it was it was stressful what? We didn't have enough so but the all the ones that we got worked and I told her how to go that I retrospect I did fail I said I would go and get another box after I finally strung them all in proper technique after we had that whole stalemate of communication about how the lights were gonna look. I finally got it acceptable, not gonna say, right, because she might hear this. And, like, right, she'll, she'll either laugh or get angry all over again. But I know that it was far from right. But it was acceptable. But it wasn't enough, the bottom was not lit enough. And another thing was like, we're gonna put a whole bunch of decorations on top of these lights. So, you know, the fact that they look a little bunched in places is probably okay, because we have like a box worth of homemade ornaments that the children made. And those are all the size it ranged anywhere from like a grapefruit to a volleyball. So any you know, like discrepancies, you can patch with a homemade ornament. It's all about setting if you dim the lights in the background, I'm pretty sure it's like you know, it gives that Christmas Oh, so it's just us like if we're not entering a tree decorating competition I don't understand. There's no one's gonna be able to see from the outside why the standard of excellence is set so high like it's not it's we the tree does not go on display at Times Square. So we're not zooming the tree. So the office is just us. And I I don't care we could either type of person we could decorate only the side that we see. Right isn't even facing the windows the side facing the wall to be naked for all I care. I know that's unacceptable, but like, That's just you know, put in perspective, the difference of value for presentation that I have versus what she has is but you know, I also am not about to ruin her Christmas because I'm lazy. So I'm down help. But you just you got to give me instructions but she was too upset to give me instructions. So we just argued non verbally as I hung lights incorrectly, and she sighed in disapproval so okay, that's done that production is done. It's not even Christmas yet. So there's no it wasn't done there still. Oh, they've decorated the whole tree and like I said I would go get another strand and I never did. So three days later, we went by ourselves with the kids were at school and got another strand of lights. We plugged those in, they worked for 2429 hours and then the whole tree shut down. Like no other lights weren't plugged in in like I came in I woke up and I was eating cereals and walked into the living room she's fuming all the lights on the tree are off like she says okay, well alright, let me let me troubleshoot it for a second and it after after my brain booted I finally I realized the only thing that had changed was the new set of lights so come to find out like that was we plugged in a dead strand that only was it was a ticking time bomb a 24 hour timer at that it just shut down all electricity and so we bought another box of lights plug those in and I think as of recording this episode, the tree is finally again acceptable probably still not good for whatever contest that she has entered mentally but it is exactly that she doesn't pout every time she walks by the tree anymore. I feel like me in the end that's just a tree for the wife that didn't begin to scrape the surface of the amount of target trips and I'm Amazon orders and grandparent coordinating what we're trying to do with these presents for the spoiled as children that we're trying to get to that but since you seem very passionate about what I'm this is the experience where the tree was such an ordeal that the Presidents have said taken a backseat to the tree we got presents already that we know how to work Amazon do garages for the president who cares about those talking about the tree needs to be lit trees done she's done it's got to be symmetrical but it was backwards from a tree seems like a war story this back and I think she was gonna divorce me over this tree I was trying it wasn't like our bonding it and just so happened a beer and socks I was was making all the presence what presence difficult to get all the presence No there was Amazon we do just you press buttons and you spend money you know having kids having kids financially difficult right i mean like but it's easy to obtain them do the List of Presidents getting more outrageous every year now there's still little so they just like stuff we know if we're talking about that I can't wait till they get to the age where they want like the big expensive like one that's one of the bit like a laptop it just sucks because I want Christmas to be magical. I want to I want them to have these early memories right like cuz I had those I remember when I believed in Santa and had all that you know that fun, those those fun times whimsical pneus I want you to have that. But I don't, I don't want to write produce, act, sing score, custodian and I don't want to produce the entire production of Christmas. I know that's that's that's my complaint is that I have to do it but I don't want to. But I want them to have it like I don't want it. I don't It's not I don't want to I don't not want to do it. Because I want to deprive them of Christmas. I don't want to do it because I'm tired and I'm lazy. Are you guys gonna have a holiday? No, because her the too many people are going to be here we're going out to eat. Okay, so Oh, I mean, at least you won't be like some people that have prepared holiday dinners where no one shows up. I've seen a couple tiktoks where we don't have any family. No, they just prepared ushers whatnot. I mean, that's messed up are you making fun of the Punisher please don't do that because he'll come kill us. But I think anyone really gets all these Marvel references so like they only show the Punisher is a character whose family got like murdered. Literally the entire family tree. I don't remember what the holiday was at. Well, so for the movie adaptation. There's a comic book like for the nerds. I'm not about to speak on the comics. I don't remember the comics. But for the movie adaptation, the first Punisher movie, they had a whole family reunion, and no one showed up. No, the whole family showed up. And then so did the hit squad. Ah, and they were very accurate except for of course the Punisher, who managed to crawl away and get saved by an island man. So I'm not sure what that had to do my story. Well, if he had a holiday party, no one would show up because his whole family's dead. Gotcha. That's the only way you can have a party with no family and no show no friends. Unless it's a Home Alone situation where you get on the wrong airplane. Everybody in Italy. They're supposed to be what's this? I don't understand how that even happened. They don't understand how RSVP works did they not Google calendar at correct level they said they would show up and they decided not to everyone they invited said they would show up and decided not to that's great. All 15 people. It was a course meal that this woman prepared what they all know called no showed they Oh, they didn't even bother to be like, Hey, I'm so sad. Got the Rona, I can't come. No, it wasn't like Mean Girls. I'm sick kind of thing. It was like literally, like no one showed up. My dog ate my homework. I can't come and dinner. Yeah, no, no. Like, no, I would come I got to work. No one even called and just say hey, man, no, Laura like yeah, that'd be that'd that would have been better. Like, because I don't want to buy right and just hang up. Would you respect that? If you like, go okay, not you give it knowing what happened prepared this dinner for everyone. And then someone called No, I would hire extras because I'm not about to deal with that. I just spent a whole episode sorry, talking about a Christmas tree. So if she cooks some say production was like, Hey, I'm cooking a head of both hypocrisy. Dinner. I will become an Avenger and be multiple man if I have to. And sit it all the way now so I'll fix it. I'll hire extras. A football team. Some homeless people, whatever I got to do. Everybody's got you know crackhead uncle but oh, this is Uncle Jimmy right uncle smoke right uncle they just show up out of nowhere. So okay, so maybe her husband's in the wrong because he all he did was film it and he tried to shame everyone. But I feel like he just made it public that everyone knows that none of their friends showed up. Because no one knew it was a private thing in between. They could allied if everyone said no you can align me like Hey, Susan showed up. You know, they weren't just late. No, no one showed up. Did they play ultimo? It was like they were showing the clock and then it would go back and you know how long did they wait? I think an hour maybe? Okay, so what was the ethnicity of the people because if they only waited an hour I think then like for me especially for a holiday meal I haven't even begun to get ready to leave yet what why? Because usually the food hasn't been placed in the oven yet to shave it still show up to like show face I go watch them cook Yeah, not like go the whole goal of black holiday dinners is to time your arrival to when the food is done. No one ever gets it right. But there's like that's why it gets later and later and later the games are supposed to play he's supposed to meet the next Yeah, the game is catch the food when the time knows there's spades there's a family member names. Are there those those are not games man. Those are all just different fighting for him. He's just lanes and space. Yeah, those are martial arts fighting disciplines for black people. No, no other games you play. No, I've never seen that game played with not without pistons. Then yet what else again? That's the white people play. Old, old white people. I'm pretty sure some southern black people like back. I'm sure they're also very old that to Shay. But nonetheless, we don't play back gaming and this we only find overstays and dominoes like normal black people never played Monopoly. That's a wonderful game you'd like it. That's one of the children fight over. Is that a clue? I've seen my family members play clue. Tons of arguments over clue. I don't always argue when they're all together. But the point is, because they're playing spades or dominoes, that's why you, I told you it's a fighting discipline. That's what people don't understand. They think it's a game. So they sit down thinking it's a game and now they got punched in the mouth. Because you know, you said you had three books clearly had five. Now we got to renege. What I remember my original point, thanks Your Domino's is a fighting style. Thank you. It's that you should not play spades in foreign territory. Or always travel with a partner. That wasn't your point. That you should not play dominoes and holiday parties if you don't want people to find what's your take on eggnog it's gross. Unless you add enough brandy and then you can't taste the heck no delicious. You know, I mean, as a kid, I liked it. Just you know, when regular eggnog without it would they would I would just drink it without last cup. And a glass cup. Yeah, like a mug. Glass mug. I saw on a commercial or some type of TV thing. And you know, I was raised on TV. So that's all I know. We didn't have special egg, no cups. I use the same cup. I drink orange juice, grape juice water. Oh, apple juice, Hansen's soda. Shout Samson's. Yeah, it was the same cups. Well, we my mom did have a set of special cups for like Christmas and dinner. And we would bring those out. And then I remember I put apple juice in them like three days after Christmas. And she got mad and maybe put in another glass. Like why do you have glasses that you use once or twice a year? That's dumb. So just really, yes, Christmas dinners back in the past no Christmas dinners this year to many family members all going out the restaurant. I mean, it was still gonna eat, you know, eat at home. You know who wants that problem? It doesn't everyone want that problem. They make it seem like that's what you're supposed to do. Maybe Christmas time you're supposed to go? Well, that's the running joke, right? Like on all the Christmas movies, what you're supposed to do as an adult or parent during Christmas is be miserable, because you have to put on a production for your children and usually have family visiting or you go visit family. So you have to deal with whatever that entails. And that's always something at the very least, you know, mildly uncomfortable for people, usually more than mild, but you know, be generous. So you know that it's that's, that's what Christmas is good for? babies, children and adolescents. Because that's when you get like PlayStation five and Jordans and stuff like that? Yet, right? But after that, it's just work. And then like even even when it's not work, it's lonely, right? Like in your 20s Do your hand up, there's nowhere to go. You have what friends giving depressant ship? out of work broke people? Definitely no, yeah, all the things that they don't, they can't afford to cook, right? And it's a mess, right? Like so. And then then you can't afford it. You're either too busy working if you're single, or you have a family and you're miserable, because you have to spend it with your children and the rest of your family. So it's just you know, it's it has a a very early expiration date that no one tells you or talks about that I didn't realize until probably this Christmas because I was still trying to have fun as like a adult experiencing Christmas a few years ago and like this year, I just realize that this is just work this is this is you know, Christmas as a parent is the same as Christmas is for like an employee at Old Navy, or Best Buy or something right? Like this is when this is when you have to work the hardest. This is this is when you earn your parental stripes, right you make though this is when you you make those good memories to outweigh all the damage you're doing, you know, the rest of the year, especially when you're listening to like Christmas music for like a month straight. That's to be tough. That'd be like psychological warfare. I mean, there's not a lot of new Christmas music, right? Yes. So if Chris Brown or Drake is listening to this podcast or whatever isn't always people's please make a new album. I mean, yeah, because Mariah Carey don't know how to sing anymore. Right and she's good last one. I don't want to hear All I Want For Christmas Is You son by Mariah Carey again, she can sing first of all Jingle Bells. First of all, Arianna Grande can probably do that version better. They sound the same. And then to not fire Yeah, no, definitely loud. is way better than right. Okay, the diva riot Gary. You can stay here drunk. somewhere. So Wow. I know that lots of people have strong opinions about that. I personally don't I find them both mediocre as people and artists, but I just I know that they're like right below the beehive, but how strongly people feel about those two especially they're singing vacuum. Yeah, I wish. I wish I felt that way. But shout out to Yeah, so um, as far as lighting is The Girl on that song don't even notice the lyrics to her own song. I mean, I'm just saying if you're gonna is a very nice Australian, I'm sure. Yeah, I didn't say she was mean I said she was forgetful. So gone through all this and lazy realize that real words. So as you just went through this whole thing of like, the Christmas trees, it would have, it's easier to get a real generous and just the gifts which are the easiest part. And the memories not really being the same. It's easy. Now there'll be difficult in what is it? 30 to 60 days when you know autumn statements come Come in. Is Christmas really? Like? I mean, it's like is the magic of Christmas gone? There is no magic, because we're behind the curtain. Now the magic is when you are a child as an adult, you work it. You're the magician. Like you know where the rabbit is, you know, that is two girls in the box. Nobody's getting solid and like, you know, it's your show. So you just got to make sure the lighting is right. But that's the problem. It's your whole show. So you are doing the magic tricks. You're working the door your security, you're serving drinks. You You're the girl getting cut in half. You're doing everything. So you know that there's the magic been gone? You don't I'm too tired for magic. It's exhausting. But it's worth it because I want the kids to have memories to make you know No, otherwise we'll be serial killer. Speaking of your show, and any listeners that are running late on getting a Christmas gift What could they get themselves or get their loved ones? They can listen to the show. The show is a gift in and of itself. I'm just kidding. You should you should buy yourself a hoodie This is the different marketing you're not feeling festive. I see you guys Merry Christmas City. What's up we don't have any Christmas Well, I mean, you get in read the different color options of the you don't have you with like the head above hypocrisy logo, but we'll get Santa hat on. Now. Now I don't know how to draw Santa hat on on my logo just yet. Again. It's a one man band. So the logo will remain the same. But the shirts, hoodies, mugs and water bottles do make for great gifts, stocking stuffers. And what does it white elephant parties, secret standards and all that stuff. So you know head on over to the website. Pick yourself out something nice and you know make somebody Christmas. What I got to start doing is putting the website on the shirts. So then the shirt doubles as like a you know, an invitation to listen to the shows to give the keeps on giving. They can clothe yourself and feed your mind at the same time. By trying to supply people fully not just clothing. The Christmas trees aren't disaster. Don't get one be Jewish. Then I get to light candles. You want to decorate nothing. That's what I should have told us like you know what? Forget this Christmas crap. Go get yourself a candelabra and whatever. No tiny hats. And we don't have to worry about it. None of this. Did you say a candle white candelabra. It is the thing that you place candles in the menorah? The menorah is in that the priest Okay, so sorry, my Jewish knowledge is low. We're gonna go ahead and in this I'm gonna see if I can find the local rabbi. And then we'll have a chat with them. What you need to be educated on. The rabbi is the one that is in charge of the candle that is the Jewish priests. What does he have to get? You have to get a rabbi in order to get the candles are they are they like the Quakers like only they can make the candles otherwise they're not Jewish? I don't understand why you need a rabbi for candles. I saved the candelabras all over they got them on top of Congress now. It's called hate when you write what the problem is? Yeah, I mean, that is what it is. It's a nine branch. That word candelabra. That's what you put candles. Like old people in your family. I don't. I don't they're not walking around when it can or whatever. I don't want like walking around with, like Dracula health care. lob rose. Who's Dracula? He's all you cards that you didn't play Castlevania? I mean, I mean, that's the kind of off theme but no, I think Castlevania took place during winter. Right? Yeah, there's a Christmas Castle drag, decorate decorates, because it's darker so he can be out longer. His podcasts could have been longer because there's still like Christmas movies. We didn't even go over. Yeah, the grid walls are the best and it wasn't home alone. Well, life likes elf. Home Alone is not a Christian movie. Home Alone is not a Christmas movie. I mean, should it really be it seems like a horror movie if you're a child, but it takes place during Christmas. Yeah, like diehard is not a Christmas film, but it takes place during Christmas. I'm added to the holiday list all the time. And I'm just saying Home Alone is a terrifying movie. If you're a kid, there are kids your house. Right? Right. But you know, if you've got a set of Legos and some paint cans up all right, you know, it's good. It's called cops. But they dressed as the police. The ones the first time you know, why would you trust the police a smart kid? We talked about you know, I wouldn't call the police I told you what I do. As an adult, I'm not calling the police if there's robbers not staying because they're gonna come and arrest me. So I'm gonna apprehend the robbers get the family in the car drive to Santa Barbara and then replace report the robbery from a safe distance so the police don't make any mistakes. So that's your little bit of holiday wisdom. report crimes from a distance until it's the gift that keeps on giving knowledge that's what you should give people knowledge is power and who doesn't want power for Christmas? Not the 50 cent show like real real power. Before I leave, they don't want a fruitcake right we don't have those even though my mother makes a good one that actually it tastes like a cake yeah like I didn't rely on fabric of July no yeah that's that's a holiday episode for another day but like we could we could do a part two where we talk about holiday foods like the difference between Christmas dinner and Thanksgiving dinner you know the back to back then I wasn't confident the first ask the versus I want to say yeah Thanksgiving dinner versus our representative dinner which is gross you do like Christmas better Christmas dinner I think because you know a little bit more you can be a little more liberal There you go first time ever people have an episode look forward to that's a small teaser for next episode watch it's not do it it's the Thanksgiving versus it's just we have the worst self assess the first time they have episode to look forward to listening to you don't think they listen look forward to listening to the episode teaser in this season for the first time. They look forward to I'm sorry guys that you've had to suffer through this many episodes to finally have something to look forward to. But yes, the holiday versus a Thanksgiving dinner versus Christmas dinner is finally coming the long awaited versus barely according to Marcus and he's got his finger on the pulse of all our fan anyway sorry I guess I had a little bit too much this holiday tea here I had so much that I forgot to put it in my head above hypocrisy mug you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna go hop on the website in order myself in early Christmas present late depending on you know when you hear this but I'm gonna get myself a mug you should do Happy holiday. We didn't get to talk about the African menorah with the Kwanzaa they came I feel like he got invented when I was like 10 years old. Like you guys can't just be like we don't have one so let's have one like we're gonna take the Jewish holiday we're gonna slap some Kente cloth on it and you know put add a bunch of extra vowels to some words call it that they don't even know what it's not right what do they celebrate and what kind of intelligence they Vibranium day everybody just gets a sword and Well on that note, I think I have a monologue that I would like to share it with in the show when I want to in the show. here to see me. Anybody come to see the pit What is it the pips not what I forget the movie now. I guess maybe they are to come and see both of us because I can't remember nothing. What I can remember is that you should get yourself a mug for your holiday Coco from the from the website, and I'm going to go freshen up my beverage with some holiday spirits. And you should do the same. Was it happy holidays? Merry Christmas. Happy Jonica and Jumbo. What do they say? Kwanzaa? I don't care what scenario I'm not celebrating. Technically neither is Santa. But they you know, he makes money. So Quan see has messed up See that's why we can't have enough black people have you responded on count because it's broke I'm Republican on the show. So then we should all just celebrate Hanukkah right if we're if it's all about you know who has the most money? Well on that note we really shouldn't get cancelled by somebody I've offended literally every available. Saving about wheelchairs Alright, thank you for listening