Head Above Hypocrisy's Hot Topics

Dollar Store Christmas - Holiday Episode Pt.2

December 21, 2021 William Jeffery / Marcus Burnette Season 6 Episode 5
Head Above Hypocrisy's Hot Topics
Dollar Store Christmas - Holiday Episode Pt.2
Show Notes Transcript

Who else does their shopping at the last minute?

What? Oh, this is nice. What is this on my side of the desk? Is it a gift? I don't? Because I didn't the company gift from bankruptcy. Yes. What we gave all of the employees free time and business of their own to mind was it's kind of like shares in the company. What What's that? Why is it in a box? It's just a box. I mean, the box is light wise tis the season you have to wrap it in order to participate, right? Like even poor people use newspapers. Everybody had that one Christmas where they got you know, peanuts all their all of their Christmas gifts were wrapped in Marmaduke peanuts and Dilbert that happened at what? No, you didn't you didn't have the newspaper Christmas. No, never. I didn't know. I don't look at you and your wholesome childhood. Thank you. Good for you. Congratulations just making us all feel bad. I'm Will and apparently I had a traumatic Christmas. Normally your opening statements a little more joyful. Well, I was I used to be filled with joy. I like being able to read the comics and then open a gift to the President. It was like a dual gift for me. Yeah, no. And come to find out. I was just poor. I don't know. Thank you for sharing that with me. And changing my childhood. No, I'm sorry. I'm glad we could do that on the show. Today was great. Love the holidays. You're welcome. Um, well, I'm Marcus. And I. Yeah, one of them. Christmas goes past present. I don't know which one but you would Jiminy Cricket? You just messed up screwed his whole Christmas. I'm screwed. Yeah, now now I would be screwed because you bring in me all the bad news. That's true. You're one of three girls. Maybe you're all three because I thought that my childhood was fine. So Christmas will duty Have you second guess your whole childhood? Really? Depends on the gifts you get. I mean, yeah. Well, it also depends on the gifts you give your children but ah. Speaking of you know, what? Can we drop the intro? I may need to do some shopping. You forgot to get gifts for your children. I'm not I'm not confirming or denying that I'm just saying I made you do some shopping. I can put in a Walmart order for you. Maybe see some of your you know what we could do to show from target that would be it's right down the street. I've been wanting to excuse to do that. You know what, let's go with it. Let's do it. Yeah. I wanna do you have I'm gonna go all right, well, I don't I don't have any coupons. And I don't I don't like to go to Target are not armed with coupons who pays full price target. So I will have to regroup and and visit later on this evening. Because everyone knows I got a target least once a day. Left me in the company vehicle. Yeah, tell me I was coming back to record. I thought I had the coupon. I also am still waiting on a debit card for that show. in of itself. He tried to support black business and they make you wait all of those six to 10 days to receive your product or service. But you know, Tis the season to wait for things. I mean, my post office. I don't know why they would send it through the USPS. But I could be everyone involves fault. I just know that. When have you been tracking numbers please? banked elsewhere? I got my debit card in two days on the weekend. And I didn't even lose my car. It was like somebody tried to use it at Costco. And then they shut it down. Right on a Monday. I got you know, they had the full Business Week. So you said gifts. Yeah, yeah, I gotta find a way to get gifts without any without debit card. That got real creative. But um, yeah, no, I I think that for the most part. You know, the gift giving is, is well I guess when you get older, the giving of the gifts I think is more important or is better feels better than getting gifts. Or at least for me personally, like I'm not I'm really really bad at getting gifts. I'm uh, I don't like to get things from people. It's weird. But I'm, I'm grateful when I do because you know, I don't I know. No one really owes you anything. So when anyone takes the time and or effort and money to get you something, whether it's good, great you want it or not like I try to I try to always at least be gracious in the moment because I do understand that a mattress No. Those things cost more than $1 One day. We're still paying for it today. I understand Oh, no, I mean, have you gotten any bad gifts that you've, I guess technical bad gifts. So not happy like smile and like, me personally. Well, so I guess one other kid, like, I got the proverbial, you know, sweaters and socks and things. And I didn't have a problem with them, per se. They just were I always I'd always get at least one, maybe two articles of clothing that were not. Not my preferred style. The phrasing that I'm going to go with. Okay, okay. I got you. So I never got worn sweaters. I just I don't man, there were some, you know, I think I got a Bill Cosby sweater on here. Cool. No, not they were cool for Bill Cosby, and then much much later for drug dealers. But I was when I got it. It was neither one of those times. I was not a parent, and I've moved no weight. So I just it was not outfit from anywhere now either. No, it is what it is. It's one of the few things that doesn't fit me anymore. Most. I know. I mean, like because of the cost. Anyways, please continue. So all right. Yeah, like I said, just assume that I'm drugging women because my sweater is multicolored and looks like the dryer lint. But you rate those like I got that was just customary, right? Everybody got that at some point. So I didn't really have a problem with it. But my sister being the observant and outspoken young woman that she is finally told my mother one year we were you know, all full grown adults. She was like, Do you ever see Will you wear any of the clothes you get hit? Okay. And she was like, she didn't really? You know, she was like, Yeah, sure. And she was like, really? You've seen him wear them? And she thought about it. She was like yeah, now come to think about he doesn't really wear them very often. She's like, Yeah, cuz he doesn't like them. Right? I mean, sisters listen to my family and talk to them. I'm like that, but he was very, you know, direct and ever since then I got you know, I've gotten updated clothing items. Things I would wear anyone anything that you just was like yeah, like this and you just like their response wasn't now don't give a lot of gifts in hopes that I will not receive a lot because I so you know the the whole you got to get you know, if you don't write thank yous, you won't get gifts thing kind of fight backfired on me. Because I got to a point where I got to a point very early in my childhood where I was like, Well, I just don't need gifts. I will I got enough stuff using I would rather not write these notes. So much so that just tell not to get me nothing. So you're like, what were the things you'd ask for and you never got a bike? No, I guess maybe that's what it was. My parents were like, I think that I was a minimalist as a child. Like I didn't really want a whole lot of stuff. I had my video games and I have a basketball of good back then it was like one game of summer. So you know, now, seven games, right? Like back then there's a few games as well. And then like, you know, that I wasn't interested in everything that came out. And if you are interested in I gotta take a summer off. So like, I just I didn't want a whole lot. And I would rather keep the things I had. I valued my time more than I valued more random trinkets that very early in life and when I don't want to make these things, so I don't I don't give a lot of gifts. But when I do give gifts, they're fairly accurate. So now you're so being a parent, like your gifts, your children are accurate, I would imagine, right? I'm like, I'm imagining they're not having the same unfortunate journey that you had as far as Yeah, no, they're still young. So they're more of their there. They're still at the quantity over quality age, or like they just want to open a bunch of presents. They haven't reached the light. I want a PlayStation five and a pair of Jordans and that's Christmas Right? Like there's two boxes under the tree but it costs $4,000 right like yeah, now you know you spent$700 in a trade looks like we robbed you know, an Amazon warehouse. What's the limit? On like, price point or, like we've touched on this? So that thing about being married the limit is whatever your wife decides because what she you know, she's in charge of the bulk of the Christmas shopping whether you like it or not. And you know so even if you set a limit like did you get pink she's gonna go how Yes, that was I didn't know she was listening live that was Yeah, okay. I got the stamp of approval on that right yeah, I am. I'm sure she approves of being in charge of doing our all the shopping but I think you know that's that's where the limit lies especially for Christmas shopping at least in our family she's doing she does the especially for the kids she does the bulk of the actually for everyone like from a parents or parents like I'll show up and carry stuff and every now and then like she stuck between like two items with me for these are what do you think someone's like I'll help but she shoulders that load so I think the key is starting early like we start you know in September sometimes you're just like balled out now oh my god, I'm broke my whole life. I had a I had one year where I got a new job and he was like that a decent amount of money at that job. So I got my In laws Apple Watches oh yeah I was I was throwing money everywhere because I was just happy like I was broke for so long and it was like a mini lot hurt in a hurry to get back there what can you take away? Yeah, well I mean I'm not drinking I'm not gonna take it to the grave you know you can keep it for a little while though. It also doesn't spoil but at that moment it just felt really nice I get it so you know they got Apple Watches I had to pay you back the favorite you when I was younger you for my birthday? Oh, right. Yeah. So that was super shocking. I had forgotten about that showed up. So yeah, that was a year ago. Like I've had moments where I just was like, Ha, I haven't done that forever because I feel like we talked ourselves I feel like always gives great gifts for her mom she makes her cry every time it's hard to do that when you have small children just because the the amount of variable expenses is so high that even when you think you're balling you're usually not right and they just don't throw a brick through the TV on a Wednesday because they're like I want to see how gravity works and anyway so you know that just that emergency fund is is more like a checking account or anything so haven't haven't even been in that headspace a long time but I what I have spent a great deal of money on is decorations because we are still decorating the same Christmas tree that we were decorating last episode wait we wait wait I thought that was done now well it was so the lights we got this is the first time in head above hypocrisy history that we're getting like a continuity update. Do we just it's still in progress real time like I'm hoping that like come Christmas the tree is live but I'm in this recording where you guys are still so what happened? We're done we got lights we got a replacement box because if you remember if you did not listen to the previous episode I'll give you a very brief synopsis. We bought a Christmas tree which we thought we bought a fake Christmas tree which we thought was pretty lit it was not pretty lit so we had to go buy some lights we bought the lights and and we had to light the tree ourselves and my wife had very specific vision about how the lights would fall on the tree and we did not like the bottom properly so she wanted more lights we got more lights lit the whole tree got it fully decorated the next morning the bottom half of the tree was out. Yep. Took the lights figured out why that was it was just the bottom of the light the latest strand that we put on right we got we got the whole tree decorated. She was like we need to be more lights at the bottom for that last strand shut down the whole tree disconnected that strand plugged the light back plugged the rest of the lights back in tree works fine so we just assumed it was a faulty strand went back to the hardware store because apparently that's where you get Christmas lights from and rip switched out the box like hey, these didn't work and they were you know shout out to Ace Hardware by the way they were very very gracious in the return process super super easy. All I mean I had my receipt and I guess when it's complicated when people don't have their receipt and the boxes on fire and it's six months old, but I had just bought this yesterday and I had my receipt in the box and they were super nice and they just didn't ask me no questions for your neighbor. That yeah, well not about jackin myth lights you know Tis the season to not steal things I think that somewhere in he didn't steal the light from his neighbors through a ice brick on accident through their window maybe I have to Republican and then he stapled himself to his room while installing his own light but he didn't steal any light I don't Yeah Maybe you got the urban version the G walls are not the manifested version what the Christopher Columbus the light just discovered some lights or somebody else's house that are mine now so you went back and got more lights as you write right I get the lights we put them on the trees fully decorated beautiful my wife is stopped swearing at me it's a happy day we can finally enjoy Christmas. Next morning the exact same thing happened like she was like ah you know I don't tell you this but the lights are out and it's the tone as if it's my fault so I'm kind of like I got her trick lights or something I mean you're the husband right right so I'm sure in some way it is my fault I just I didn't understand it she's gonna update me later on hide screwed up but and she hadn't told me why I just knew that I was wrong. So at any rate I've been married a long time figure this thing out guys he's a pro tips just assume you're wrong and figure out why later. But so I I remember when I was throwing the other box out that I was looking at the box like oh my god I'm spending so much work and time on these lights. Let me read this box and I walk through the trash and I remember reading you know connect up have three sets of lights and like, you know, in the news as one of the features, and I thought to myself like, Well, I wonder if we have, you know, did we connect three sets of lights? Yeah, who cares like it because back in the day instructions, what back in the day you, you know, you can connect 47 chains like there was no you know, threshold for the amount of daisy chaining that you can do with Christmas lights. The the the connection capacity was not something I was familiar with, I just didn't think it painted the mind. And then when the tree went out for a second time, I was like, I wonder if I now have come to the conclusion, it must be that these lights have a three connection maximum. And if you add the fourth one, it shuts the whole, you know, the lights down. But fortunately, only that strand gets blown. I don't know how you wire something to have that sort of limitation or like because that that's that's new, like they worked backwards to add that because old school lights definitely did not. You had one strand that was connected to 47 other strands. It was a whole firehouse and that Yeah, and that was it. And if you you know, if you spilled a cup of water, then they're going to house but it was one strand. So I just I didn't it didn't come up. So now today currently, as we speak, we have the new box, the extra lights, the old lights that blew up that we blew the second satellite we blow throw away, okay, and I have yet to put the last set on because I guess what we'll do now is put we'll still string them because my wife is very particular. And but we'll just plug them into a separate you know, they'll have their own outlet. There'll be one one bottom strand that's just its own strand and the other three so we don't you know blow out the flux capacitor on a Christmas life right now that makes that makes that make sense. So that's that's the struggle I we've got the gift and they'd been squared away the gift. The hardest part about the gifts was playing Tetris in the garage and keeping them from the kids. Right. Oh, I you know, real quick. I have a I got a question. Did you hear the that the question? Yeah, I just I just got a question. Oh, so just want to make sure you heard that. Your head above the floor is yours. Thank you. Um, so you're telling me you ignore the instructions on the box. And according to this episode, which is about continuity, I believe I did the same thing a few episodes ago did not ignore the instructions. I did not see the instructions until I had already installed them incorrectly twice. And then I thought about them as I was walking back as that being the reason why they stopped working the second time got you can you just say you ignore the instructions so that way, it sounds better in post for me, you would like for me to be incorrect on my own show. I mean, I'm gonna have to decline that invitation gracefully. Okay. Speaking of things, people have declined. You know, some of the weirdest gifts people have gotten, and they're saying, These are the worst gifts to get. I don't know. But I, I have one and it was given to my children. So yeah, I would love to hear this list. But I want to know what the worst one is. Well, let's see. You want me to tell you do you would you like to? Let's see. I'm sure that it's not named some of the top five because it was a combination of creativity, cheapness and laziness, all wrapped into one gift for two small children. Okay, well, so go ahead. Give you the top six. Okay. And a couple of them you and your viewers many listeners may not even agree with. Okay. Number one, exercise equipment. Oh, yeah, I find that highly offensive because I got an entire exercise equipment themed like gift set last Christmas and I love it. I used it this morning. Right I'm like what? Yeah, it's like completely paid for like if they just like hey, here's a peloton bike right? Yeah, like we got I got an elliptical. So yeah, that was amazing. It was I mean, it was doubly amazing because it was quarantined to gyms were close to losing my mind. Like it. It served more purposes than just fitness. But you know, it was it was a good gift. I think that that is is a perspective thing. Okay. holiday sweater. I mean, you mentioned some of these earlier you said in your past so do we mean like a hot like a ugly holiday sweater like with a bunch of Santa stuff on it? Or just like like a bill cut like a ugly sweater that you got for Christmas? Yeah, so they're saying like, ugly ugly sweaters like with a box eggnog Those are fun for me. Like I like like, you know, I like ugly Christmas sweaters. I like festive socks. Like I like you know, I haven't been cool for a real long time. So I like to dress like a lunatic. You know what, that's fine they say I mean they say it's weird to get them I guess or a bad gift to get it because you're getting on Christmas and only they to wear it. I get so that's what I was gonna say like it's it sucks to get a gift that you can't use until next year. I guess you wear it when you get it like the date like so we do we do. Pictures and pajamas like you know the family pajama thing and you know, we I don't think we get those pajamas until Christmas. So you know But then I wear you know your Christmas pajamas up until the new year and depending on how Christmas they are and what your fashion standards are, you can wear them you know, throughout the year. But I get like not you know getting a Christmas themed gift on Christmas does kind of suck cuz you're like oh thank you I can store this with my other Christmas things until next year right fantastic. Does it come with a tub that I can put it in and in my garage? I mean it's funny it does. So maybe at least sweaters or Christmas sweaters should be more of a birthday thing if your your birthday is before Christmas. I mean like expect that person where we should start giving Thanksgiving or what is it indigenous people Day gifts and you give you know the ugly Christmas sweaters for indigenous people day because as in November for Black Friday, Black Friday day that's not a holiday it's just a Friday people go shopping and they don't even do that anymore because people still got trampled. That's got to suck you sleep outside on the ground for two days only to get your throat stepped on in the morning like that's all to say $50 Since again you get hit with that deductible when you get out to emergency room and there goes all your all your savings got your five cents a canvas. Yeah, that sucks. I don't have any purpose. Just live in the house. I don't care about decor. Oh, I'm the I'm the men could live like this meme with a sofa, a big screen TV. Like a video game system. That's I mean, as long as my internet connection is strong, that is literally all that I need. I don't care what it is, well, I care what it smells like and that I don't want it to smell like garbage. So like if I live next to a landfill and you know maybe I'd want a scented candle but I'm probably gonna have I'm gonna need like an air filter and all kinds of other stuff I just burned down out candle candles not gonna get it done. So, ya know, for me personally, that is, that probably would be my number one of the things that I've heard so far, because I like sweaters and I want more fitness equipment. If you're out there listeners and you got some fitness equipment. You don't want to send it my way. I'll put it to good use I probably what I I 100% agree with this next one right here. I think this is the worst gift you can get anyone for not It's your mother's free cake, I think. Because it's a real cake. Right? Just like a rum soaked bread. Number one well, in my opinion, more responsibility and buy more responsibility. I mean, can someone gift that to somebody? Yeah. In the form of a pet. See, that is as a parent that is irresponsible gifting you can't just get well if you give it to a child. You can't just give somebody a whole animal right that they're supposed to keep alive indefinitely. That yeah, I don't I mean, it's because I live in a zoo currently, I don't no one ever better bring any animals into this house and expect us to keep them with a dog two cats 10 Goldfish, a hamster three lizards, I don't need anything else. And then the two humans that we also made. So you know there's enough living things that we're responsible for don't leave your animals out like the seventh heaven bond. I will lock them outside now now it's just regular Earth. Earth One is I get it I'm bored. Not that jolly we just survived it. sitcom happy over here. Marvel my wife and kids we're alive regular. We're balanced. We're happy we were sad we yell we fight we love we hate it's it's like blackish Oh, but it's like but with far less money because you know, I don't I don't have the same job and my wife is not a doctor. So we have less children though. So you know. self help books is one of the last few that's a terrible gift. I eat that's like giving somebody homework for Christmas. You better not give me an assignment as a gift. You don't want to like self knowledge yourself? Not for Christmas. Give it to me on Wednesday not No, I don't want I don't want chocolates in sweaters. I don't want information on there. Now young, young blood. Not only Christmas. Oh, please no, save that for New Years. That's that's when you do your you know reflections and resolution revelations that then give me myself. We're gonna put a pause on this until the new year. I'm not trying to improve I got a week left nine can't make no changes. This is more than six. I've kept going with this list. But this is one of the ones I've gotten and I thought it was nice at first when I first got it. And then after I got halfway through it. I was like this is a terrible mistake. Book candy. Oh, that's you're gonna say like supersize for me. No. I mean It's insane get to the bottom of the bottle. Oh man, why did I do that? I felt myself greasy cocaine sticks. Yeah. Receipt. Okay. I like that. I might have to try it. But yeah, I just I, I've gotten you know, bulk of like my favorite candy and Oh, bulk candy. I just, like, back full of just a huge Costco size amount of like, I see that's one of those things. You know it just you gotta have good parents I guess cuz no one's given me just a shoe box full of jelly beans as an adult. No friends. No. It's always normal portions I got I've gotten gift baskets before but that's all you know, individually round your car with jelly beans. No, no, I'm pretty sure that would be assault of some sort. You can't just be not Mr. Beast in it. But yeah, no, I hear you. I mean, I'd fall out of the car and you know, claim neck and back pains. Why would you be in the car. Nevermind. Here's another last last round up cleaning supplies. Cleaning supplies as a gift. Somebody wrapped up some Ajax. Merry Christmas, Windex, see yourself on the list and made it on the list. Apparently a terrible gift. That's the same thing as homework. It's just housewares. It's all work. You can't you can't gift work to people. Nobody wants more stuff to do when they're expecting a gift. So if they have to do anything, if you when you're buying a gift or preparing a gift for someone, if they have to do anything that they would not normally do. Yeah. Go with something failed as a gift giver. Okay. All right. That's that's knowledge. That's Jo Jo tip for gift giving. And this, you know, this holiday episode, it also recommends that I'm giving someone like a day off of cleaning by giving them like a professional cleaner or sending me to them or something like I don't know what the proper term is. But like sending a professional cleaner, I'll just say that right? to their home cleaner. That's a nice gesture, but it's not a good gift. So I mean, if we have stooped to giving sponges, calm comment, and, and bleach for Christmas, then I think that that for me, that's a fine gift. Right? Like, because you will because it what depends, right? Like, just Are you offended by gift cards, because to me, that's just a gift card. It's the same thing, you're buying somebody a service that they can, you know, use whenever they want to use it. So you know, it's the same thing. As if you get like a massage for somebody. Right? Like that's, that's you you're getting your house and massage effectively. Like it's, it's it's a paid service, it's removing work from your plate, as opposed to giving you work, right, like giving them cleaning supplies, that's just tools to do a job, as opposed to giving them the job done. All right, right. Okay. So like, I'd be okay with and like, I would want it because I know what my wife would love it. Because she, you know, she likes things to be clean, but who likes to actually clean stuff. And we got, you know, as I have said 1000 times we got the kids so we hired on. I think that's another thing that factors into it, right? Like, I don't think that, you know, a single sexy free person necessarily is going to appreciate a cleaning service the same way a dad or mom would like a family of six and you give them a cleaning service. Yeah, I would appreciate it. That would be amazing. Hey, man, I'm gonna send someone to you know, clean everything and yeah, yeah, right. Right. So you know, it's It depends, right? Just gift, you know, intelligently act like you've met the person before. I got you on that one. Last but not least, anything from infomercials? I do one better. I don't know. There's some there's some interesting infomercials out there, these. If you bundle it with something else and make it funny, or you know, real personal, you might be able to get away with it. I would say anything from the dollar store. Oh, and if you get it from the dollar store, then you should at least give it home. You don't take something from the dollar store and then give someone 50 cents of $1 item because that is what happened to my children. Wait, what? Yeah, one of our I don't know the relation of this person, but we were in Ohio and the children were very young. And this lady came to visit and she claimed to have a gift for the children. And what it was was an ornament, which in and of itself is fine. Like I got a couple of relatives that would be like they get me getting me an ornament since I was like you know two or something. You know, it gets more and more specific. It's you weren't like they got me a basketball one year rollerblade when you know when I was in rollerblading, that kind of thing that's fun like getting an ornament is not sentimental right and even it being from Dollar Store for small children like they were so smitten like wanting to gift what it was it was to stockings that were strung together right to like you know look like they were hanging from the chimney with care okay, that you know that was the the ornament this woman cut the string and separated the two stockings and gave the children an individual stocking each so she effectively gave them 50 cents of a $1 toy that they were not expecting so you could have given nothing we would have been happier now I'm a fit basically you've given me an insult Did you travel to go get it? No no she came to the house and I guess she brought it whether it's me off I hold all the way over here in the snow that that have been I then I would have said something I just I laughed this off because we I was still you know new to the situation. Now I probably could have got away with speaking my mind after she left right. But um, no I just did I laughed it off but she um yeah, she she called herself gifting she was like all the gifted kids and I hope she didn't what I'm Hope happened is she just happened to like have it in her backseat or something. Like Correct. All right, in which case you would have done better just you know, not giving anything or giving them like the old lady gives you the game to peppermints I would not have been offended because that's something that random old people do. Nobody takes something that's obviously I think it's done at the dollar store tag on it. That's why we were upset but like we were like we laughed about it and then her mom got upset because I think it was her friend or like her mother knew the woman I've never heard well I don't know who this random she's Ohio she might have I don't know I've the only thing that's burned into my mind I guess she didn't even do a good job of cutting like to make it look like maybe it was like a you know an actual individual or intimate like you did the twine was all tell that it would I hope not because then I'm speaking ill maybe mentally she thought you only had one job in my different now. There's two that one that now that that excuse is not and I don't think she had any mental ailments because we talked shit about her for a good hour after it happened and I didn't know her and they did so I feel like if there was something wrong with it that's just Susan you know she got hit in the head when she was four and you know she can she not quite right right but that didn't come along yet. Right? Big mother got more upset about it than I did okay. Eventually just became funny. But he had no I don't think that the she I think she was just cheap, lazy and but a little bit creative. But that was the only time in my life that I've ever received or like I saw a gift be given or that vicariously received a gift through my children and felt some kind of way about like was judgmental because I'm normally very, very thankful even like for the decade that my mom got me sweaters I never wore, she had no idea because I never said anything because I was just like, well, thanks, mom like you try it. And I know you don't understand clothes, the clothing that children wear because you're a woman and I'm a child, that's fine, whatever. Good job, you get everything else on my list. You gotta want it. Thank you. So you know, it's Yeah. Well, I mean, I just don't don't go to the dollar store. And if you go to the dollar store, give him the whole damn gift. Don't you can't, right, you don't give somebody for lifesavers out the pack. Like that's just that's just weird. It's it's unnecessary. Because if that's the case, then you're not in a place to give gifts and that's okay. And just, you know, leave it at that it's better because I can say now I've received an insult. You didn't give me a gift. You gave me a slap in the face because you went to the dollars. You couldn't even spend$2 on me. Right? Right. And if and if that's the case, if you are in such a financial hardship that you only have $1 to spare for gifts, then just don't do it. Then you don't get to just it's fine. Just make everybody a card bake cookies or something like this. There's arts and crafts, there's things you can do or just tell everybody you broke. I'd rather her came in the house. Hey, it's been a rough year. I love the babies so nice to meet everybody. I don't have nothing right. Or say nothing because I don't even know you right. Approach um, as we get ready to hit this runway that's coming up in this nice snowy. Snowy, we got some weather though. It's real. It's real holiday issues there. Ray is cold. I've got more than one jacket on Yes. New York. I got like, the, you know, I feel stylish for jackets. Yeah. Stay warm today. Yeah, I didn't realize that was a function of of survival and not fashion until I went to like the Midwest. Yeah. To us, you know, windshield, doesn't it right? We're like, man, that's what scarfs are for. They're not stylish. Because yeah, lady just wearing over their shoulder. Yeah, shoulders right, right, right, right when they have whether you got to wrap yourself up like a burn victim, make it just your eyeballs and that's it and you get hoodie up down in your Rigi your head and you pull the scarf up over your nose to your eyelids and you just don't blink. So how do you feel about subscriptions to podcasts? I think that's the best gift on earth that you could possibly give someone. So if you are if you are out there and doing some holiday shopping, be it Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or Christmas. I think that you can always give someone a subscription to the old head above hypocrisy. And if you know if you want something tangible, you can accompany that with a mug hoodie. T shirt. Mug made lists mug made the list mug made the list for worse to give me the list cute mugs. Oh, well. You know what? It's probably the person that made the list prizes don't get no gifts. They don't even exercise. This like only like three things on there that were bad guys. You know, it's Yeah. What are you gonna put you What are you gonna put your warm beverages in? Right? Like you can't drink hot chocolate out of a you know orange juice glass. You can't you'll break the glass. You'll burn your hand. So you're saying they should get ahead of Botox. I'm just I'm trying to save you from breaking your glass and or burning your head. I'm out here saving lives with mugs and dropping knowledge. You know, doing the best I can. I'm really a civil servant just speaking up, I probably go see the lights this weekend. You guys is like a suicide pack? What? What? Like no. He says you gotta walk toward the light when I see the lights. Candy Cane Lane. It's Oh, like Christmas lights? Decoration. I mean, we're talking about holidays. Where lights will be speaking of the last one you see is what I heard. I mean, that's That's Biblical. The holiday is supposed to be biblical. We just you know, everything got capitalized, if you will. Yes, I'm gonna wait and just take my box that the company gave well just don't go into the light. We got more episodes. So you know, once we're done then you get all the lights you want but we got a few we got a few more seasons to knock out. Yeah, no, I got you. I got you know walk in the light people happy holidays. Keep your ears open. Because I'll be talking Happy Holidays don't spend too much money. Um, and if you do make sure you spend it on podcasts and podcasts merchandise. Oh, keeps on giving before we go. Uh, yeah. Continuity, since there was a lot of continuities episode Thanksgiving food or Christmas, real quick. 20 seconds with Christmas because thanks. There is no stuffing and or green bean casserole requirement. I think that the Christmas dinner has more freedom and thanksgiving. Well, I think Thanksgiving now probably has the same freedom because you know, at least you know, I live in LA people have guacamole toast for Thanksgiving. But traditionally, there is more leeway in your Christmas menu than there is in your Thanksgiving menu. And I think that the Christmas menu focused more on dessert as what like there is a wider spread variety of desserts in the Christmas dinner as well. So I just I like I like not being pigeon holed to Turkey dishes. Okay, no, I Well, I was gonna try it makes me sleepy. I was going to try to represent Thanksgiving food, but I remember I hate cranberry sauce. And it comes in well, that's not cranberry. I'm not not had real crap. I got it. This This is why and this is coming from the mayor and they tried to convince me the green bean casserole is good, terrible green bean casserole because it is a terrible dish and you had terrible cranberry sauce because you got it out of a can. Yes, it's the same reason you don't get chicken out of a cane. Not everything that comes out of a cane is good for you. Most things actually that come out of a can or not good for you. Spam comes out of a can expand the bushes don't go there. On that note ladies and gentlemen, this has been my time I am going to go eat a salad because that statement made my blood pressure go up. Spam is is fat in the can To sell to my wife, there's no meat it's just fried rice. Is Fat fried rice just take a little bit of spam you gotta use the old anyway. Or you could just use butter it's the same thing Happy Holidays don't eat too much spam also known as butter if you know you want your arteries to work and but if you don't you know you don't spam you won't who needs arteries? Right? We're 3d printed yourself new heart. We're there hit up Boston Dynamics. Whatever the places they're planning the apocalypse anyway. Maybe get yourself artificial heart before the robots take over. On that note, Merry Kwanzaa Happy Hanukkah. And what is it Jesus birthday day Christmas, right. Yeah, that one. Have a merry that one too. Please. Peace out, folks. Is that Spanish? Yes. I don't know how to say it in any other languages. Maybe I'll have to look that up. How do you say Merry Christmas and like German? Any German listeners out there? Send me the translation. Merry Christmas. All right.