When a vacation goes sideways...
When a vacation goes sideways...
That's a messed up Christmas gift.
Marcus:Talking about my I'm still like getting over my holiday bus.
William Jeffery:Holiday divorce. Why not?
Marcus:I was a terrible time.
William Jeffery:I think I misread the email. What is it? What are we? Sorry, I had to go to Target earlier. So I have a little discombobulated. It's okay. And I made it out in record time.
Marcus:No, it's okay. I'll take control of this. I'm so sleepy
William Jeffery:up because of target. Right. It was a lot of work that were heavy grocery,
Marcus:mainly because we're walking around and you know, people weren't really in a holiday festive mood anymore.
William Jeffery:Now you got three days isn't this I found out the internet taught me I forget was the Kirby enthusiasm guy. Somebody told him happy new year while he was at the grocery store. It was like a week after New Year's and he was like well, you know, it's been three days. You know, now it's just January,
Marcus:the greatest month in the world? Oh, absolutely. But, you
William Jeffery:know, New Year's only last, I think it has a three day hangover effect, I guess. And now it's, you know, now you're staring down the barrel of a very long, you know,
Marcus:year until the holidays come up again.
William Jeffery:I mean, no one's the year is over. You know, cuz it's like getting off. You know, it's like ending vacation at the end of vacation. You got to go back to your life. Like you just been having people bring you my ties and grand skirts for free. Right? And you have to go back to share all in accounting, right? Like, that's, no matter how great your vacation is like that. Actually, that's the problem. The greater the vacation, the worse your life looks. Mm hmm. So you know, you shouldn't you should just go you know, vacation in Montana or something. And then you go home and you're like, Man, I'm so happy that I live in a place where there have sun and warm
Marcus:to me even that has appreciation because it's like, Man, I did nothing. And I'm still getting paid.
William Jeffery:I mean, you know, well, at any rate, um, yeah, don't
Marcus:change. Things that don't change. Yeah. Like,
William Jeffery:oh, yeah, I mean, so long is production doesn't replace me. I will continue to be well, and this will continue to be heard about piracy. I'm told otherwise. And even then, depending on who tells me I might fight Mike Tyson tells me he just had a shoulder. Yeah. I'd like to see as well. I would say we could share it but I don't even want that kind of stress. You could just have it I do a whole nother one's gonna be Michael and William now. NASA just takes one wrong joke. And now I have you know, brain damage.
Marcus:I'm Marcus. But you can have my seat. No.
William Jeffery:No, my time. No disrespect by Jason Shelton about pharmacy. Please, please don't speak. No, no, no, no, we do not support this message here at head above hypocrisy. We respect Mike Tyson at a safe distance, which is miles and miles and miles. It's a new year. It's a new year I've read best I will do a five to seven minute zoom call the free version. And when it expires, I'm not you know, extending. No, just wait however many whatever we can get covered in that trial period. That's how long I'm willing to to tempt fate with Mr. Tyson.
Marcus:But in my new year, and in my employee contracts,
William Jeffery:that's how I know I have the trial period because it resets every year, but I'm allowed to like, and I'm willing to give him all of those 15 minutes but if I'm allowed to find a substitute, if I can't show up to work, we can read over the contract. Drop your intro. We can read over it. contract
Marcus:employee handbook really
William Jeffery:he's you're introducing new vocab I'm gonna go look these words up. I'll speak that one. So it turns out the contracts not European. No. They are. What are used to enslave rappers. No, I'm
Marcus:dark. I'm pretty sure they sign that and they got a nice advance for it. That's how all the deals were like, Oh, I didn't get an advance.
William Jeffery:Well, that just means you negotiated poorly. Any
Marcus:holidays are over and it's a new year and people are just not cheerful. People are back to being jerks. I think homeless people aren't being fed anymore. There's a lot of things happening, man.
William Jeffery:I mean, if they were homeless, I don't think there ever been I think that the problem is they got accustomed to being fit because everyone was feeling jolly. And now the year like Thanksgiving and right so the feeding window has closed. That's no one's fault. But the way that we celebrate holidays, people give homeless easter eggs. I mean, I guess you could make deviled eggs.
Marcus:Churches when it's like Easter, you know that they bring you
William Jeffery:breakfast Easter Sunday. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I remember attending a church and pancakes are cheap. You get a whole sack of Pack. You feed a whole neighborhood.
Marcus:They give away free food. But you got to attend the whole service.
William Jeffery:Oh, wow, that is a cat. Yeah, yeah. But oh, well, especially if it's a black church, if it's Catholic, and it's fine, you better than 30 minutes flat. But my church, you might still be there right now.
Marcus:Yeah, it was it was a very long service just for a box of like doughnuts and some of the groceries.
William Jeffery:I'll just have a glass of water and go home and
Marcus:let you know what those products were until after its services over? Well, I
William Jeffery:went after I found that I had figured that out at a very young age that no matter what the reward, it's better to just do without them to go to church. And even then, because this didn't they still made me go. So I was like, well, you at least have to take me to breakfast if I have to sit through this fake schedule. No, I don't even know why they have a schedule. Because they're always behind it. I guess they need something to be behind. Otherwise, you know, well, how could they be late? Literally. The baptist church can't function. If it's not running at least 90 minutes late.
Marcus:With the holidays being over. commercials have changed. They're not your church attendance
William Jeffery:is at an all time low. No.
Marcus:Commercials change. They're not cheerful anymore. At first, it was about buying this new car, get your loved one this new necklace. And now it's about taxes
William Jeffery:to buy this and write it off, basically. I mean, you know, we got to advertise for the times I guess. At sucks. I didn't think about that though. You come out of you come out of overspending and extra extending yourself financially to immediately have to like balance your book. Yes, I didn't. I never thought about Yeah, I guess that's one of the benefits of being broke. Like, it doesn't matter. The taxes are the same all the time. So you know,
Marcus:that's one way to look at it. But like if you're middle class or above that means if you
William Jeffery:have assets and taxes are different, everybody else 2040 Easy. Whatever it is.
Marcus:It's a no and it's a constant perpetual thing of spinning, because now we have one month of relaxation, and then we have Valentine's Day.
William Jeffery:Oh, yeah, I mean, well, you know, yes.
Marcus:Taxes after tax deadlines, like March or April. It is and then we're chill. And then you got like Fourth of July, which is unfortunately,
William Jeffery:anything anybody
Marcus:well, but once the summer comes you have children so it's time to get back to school stuff.
William Jeffery:I mean, children are expensive, just intrinsically no matter what it holidays, Tuesday, Wednesday, weekends. I mean Wendy's, right? Like I for four by fours is is a lot more than one. So it's very true. I was told to be no math, but they're expensive just you know in existence and it's it's not something that you accept when you decide to have them assuming it's choice. But you know, I don't know that they're any more expensive before after, I mean their most expensive I guess during the holidays, you gotta buy the monks precedence if you choose to celebrate,
Marcus:right? People that start the holidays with all that enthusiasm and that you know, I'm gonna have new year new me and that resolution bullcrap. Like how long does that normally last for most people?
William Jeffery:Probably as long as New Year's. But those the first three days I think the
Marcus:first few days I kind of over it back to eating junk food.
William Jeffery:Back before the corona Apocalypse when I used to go to the gym, I used to hate the gym and I would just skip January because crowded with all sorts of strangers that would be there for a week. Ah but I don't I don't know I guess I guess if you're gonna stick to it there's no there's nothing wrong with okay setting the new like it's a good time to reset right like that's it restart I get it but I guess it's just become such a cliche I feel like you're better off doing Christmas resolution or like a Valentine's Day right let's just skip over the New Year so you don't fall into the trap because I feel like like it's getting your your mates name tattooed on you right like doomed your relationship like get a symbol get get anything right like get get your nickname you get Samantha across your chest you don't come home to Samantha and the football team right and her backpack and God something right she won't be there. Yeah, right you'll come home to to a thank you letter
Marcus:right. Still healing
William Jeffery:so yeah, I appreciate your service but your surfaces are no longer
Marcus:happening after Christmas. Like holidays are done and it's like the whole
William Jeffery:I think that I think that might be a thing people will stay together today not to be like you know, lonely over the holidays and be not to like hurt someone over. Right like if they're if if you want to break up but you don't hate the person. I'm not gonna dump him on Christmas. I'm not gonna dump him on Hanukkah or you know So that that's totally a thing. And then other people will be in relationships with people like well, you know, I know that such and such gives good gifts. So I just, you know, I will stick out all the boring conversation right? And you know, d&d talks for the PlayStation five or whatever it is. Right? Well, then you'll be fine. But the rest of us that enjoy entertainment would probably rather get
Marcus:a joint nerd anyways. Um, so yeah, no, I agree with you. 100% on I didn't just like a small window to because you got to break up right after the holidays. But before Valentine's Day,
William Jeffery:I mean, if you're gonna be strategic about your relationships, I guess I was never that strategic whenever I was very messy. So Oh, was just happening. I didn't know dates times nothing. But
Marcus:I imagine crime goes down.
William Jeffery:After the holiday.
Marcus:There's no more need to get money. I guess
William Jeffery:all the good stuff stolen already. And you don't know when the new stuffs coming in yet. By February, they get all the new models and that's the crime goes back. And
Marcus:that can be that can be interesting, because I mean, until people start getting their refund checks, no one's gonna really spend or buy my things. Oh, the
William Jeffery:refund checks, right? People still get those or they just maybe they won't do them because everybody wasted the PPP loans. There's gonna call it a wash. Like Alright, well, nobody get nothing. We tried to help y'all. You have to dumb so now y'all suffer as a country.
Marcus:What do they do that? Like would you be okay with if they were just like
William Jeffery:me? Personally, I don't I don't get money back. Like I don't play the tax game. Okay, okay. I know some people got 37 Kids Yeah. And all kinds of wild like they're they're like they are like storefronts during the holidays Right? Like they make the bulk of their money from Thanksgiving to the new year right? They make the bulk of their money from tax time because they get a huge lump sum and they manage that for you know the rest of the year. I don't do that I take it to h&r block. I get $1,500 back. And that's gone after you know, dinner. The bills lights car note. I might get a pair of Jordans or something. I feel lucky. Usually it's just a trip to two extra long trip to target. So yeah, I don't I don't do the tax thing. I know people I don't I know a few people that sort of do but I don't know how that works. And I'm always afraid the IRS could kick my door.
Marcus:No, I got you. I got a co worker that gets like I think she gets like at least 10k back and I'm like
William Jeffery:how is just click the right box?
Marcus:You in a parakeet
William Jeffery:you that's the thing. If you get if Turbo Tax, right? You just click around you can make the number whatever you want. It's just a matter of if they call your number. And you have to be able to explain what you click. And half the time by the third panel. I forgot the first question they asked. I'm just like, hey, Stu, at h&r block, can you please make sure I don't get audited?
Marcus:Do you get do you pay for yours? Or do you get the free version?
William Jeffery:I give my wife my w two and the next thing you know you figure out what Yeah, and we have yet to be audited? Well, that's all that's how much I know about taxes. And I might get made fun of for that. But you know, I'm physically incapable of caring less. So you know, that's, that's cool. Think what you want? No. I played on my strength and paying bills and doing taxes is not one of them. She does demand
Marcus:DUIs and depression goes down. New Year, people have that new energy
William Jeffery:you're making it seem like the holidays are bad for society's health. I'm just like, Man, I'm just giving me a crime goes down to everybody. It's just at the world's a better place and depression ourselves and murder each other depression and suicide. They're like Alright, well we made it through Christmas. Let's to one love. Yeah, November. It's the one holiday the whole world. So Thanksgiving, me. It's time to start killing again. We got to get ready for Christmas.
Marcus:only makes sense. Totally makes sense. During the holiday
William Jeffery:support Kwanzaa more nobody ever died over Kwanzaa gift.
Marcus:That's because most people don't know it exists still.
William Jeffery:Well that's how you save lives. If you think Christmas is so evil. Do I mean I just think promote Kwanzaa even New Year's I think that's an evil holiday also,
Marcus:like I love it, but I hate that Americans celebrated we have to shoot guns up and
William Jeffery:think that a holiday is a holiday. I mean just wrote holiday. Right? It just is funny to me that you know it's not it's just next year, like Christmas is basically this religion kind of thing. I'm just saying all the other holidays have some sort of backstory. This one is just like well, we started at one then we got the two Yeah, now we're at you know what? 2020
Marcus:I don't it's not a problem to follow. It's just you know, you're celebrating another year of life forever how long that is for each of us.
William Jeffery:Right? But then you got each individual sections independence and that's, you know, like their bread. We're about to get each piece gets born on a different day, they got to celebrate the whole birth and I'm good.
Marcus:So you don't want to celebrate, like the world. Oh, that was Earth Day two. So that's actually the World Day. Earth Day.
William Jeffery:So we're just we're celebrating that a year has passed. Yeah. I do that yearly. On January 29. That's when I celebrate you. That's when a year for me personally. That's my new year. I should be holidays, my birthday. You hear for me? No, I understand. So that's that is when I choose to do my crazy celebration New Year like I my 20s. Like, I'm not gonna lie like I my 20s. I enjoyed news, I got a drink, do all the stuff. But like now it's just, especially with all the tragedies that have happened in large settings like now, it's just an excuse to be in trouble for that, like, somewhere. It's putting myself at risk for no reason. Like I've done it already. I made it through, I have no interest. I don't think that they're doing anything now that I wasn't doing 10 years ago. So you know, the delivery might be in a different bottle, but we're all drunk. It's all the same thing. So I just I don't have an interest in celebrating that way anymore. I will take a nice, well, I won't even say that has to be a glass of wine, because I'll still, you know, have a water just a glass of Jameson. But it'll be on the sofa and I'll be sleep by like 930 Even if I try to stay late, and I'll wake back up like two in the morning. But you know, I just not to celebrate to play video games in silence. But yeah, no, I
Marcus:appreciate that. I mean, a feature on some people I know would probably ridicule you for that. But
William Jeffery:you know, like at 38 Like, I don't I feel like my better days of doing that like partying at that level should be behind me. I just I'm too old.
Marcus:Let's talk about that. I agree with you on that, because I'm about to be 35 Soon, I feel the same way. Like I'd have no interest of being inside of a club. And like, just I
William Jeffery:don't even know what the environments like anymore. I feel like I'm especially again since the corona pocalypse, right. Like that's changed it. I don't know, because I haven't been I didn't wasn't going out before. I'm sure it's had to have some sort of effect. Yes, I would be a fish completely out of water.
Marcus:And I just don't want to be around a bunch of young people that are literally in your 20s. Right.
William Jeffery:And everyone you ages, you know, right? They don't they don't socialize like that. They don't I don't know where that's the thing. I don't know where single old people go either. So straws by themselves. Bars. Maybe that sounds incredibly depressing. Like a dive bar. I remember sitting at Starbucks by myself, waiting for my wife to get off of work. And just thinking wow, anyone that has to do this on a consistent basis must be very sad.
Unknown:The park the park, I don't know where
William Jeffery:he is where you need old people. Like how do you mean like geriatric old are we talking like 68
Marcus:California so the beach obviously, during the holiday. I mean, during the summer people are like,
William Jeffery:alright, but I'm not talking that whole I'm talking like 40 in single
Marcus:Oh, lounge liquid. No, that's not a place anymore.
William Jeffery:I don't know I haven't I something I have no idea.
Marcus:They asked me I'm pretty sure there's people that are listening to the show in their age 40 They're like, Yo, there's this
William Jeffery:place that you can go to now and I think about that cafe but this is what this is what happens the reason I don't know is because I haven't been single for so long. That I don't I don't know what that comes with. It looks I don't know where to go. Yeah. And then when you think about like what you would do if you had to be single as an old person you put yourself as 40 in a 20 year old scenario because that's the only way you know to be single facts.
Marcus:Oh, target
William Jeffery:Yeah, well, that target I think that that just unlucky in that thing that you could just go cruise to grocery park at Target and pick up you know, Hot Singles maybe? Like I don't know. That's just you know, like, organic target. Yeah, no, I got you. But you know, maybe maybe that's what you do. I don't know. But I don't think I don't think the holidays are to blame for all of the world's you know, misery and relationship woes and because you know, the holidays. The holidays are like anything else on the calendar they come and go every year at the same time the same way.
Marcus:I guess man I'm just trying to like detox from this whole holiday thing.
William Jeffery:I mean, just do the do the Curb Your Enthusiasm. Give it three days and then exit this beat January.
Marcus:Let me once again January the greatest month. So I guess eventually we'll just be February. I don't believe in Valentine's Day.
William Jeffery:Yeah, that is an intro we talked that
Marcus:we didn't reference whatever episode that was.
William Jeffery:I just did that is easy to have very strong stance on it's just a unique Hill to die on. I don't understand why it I think it's easier to just get spend the $5 and get a card and flower
Marcus:detail. So you know, if I have those $5 You know, I could probably get I don't know 30 more dollars added together and I'll be able to buy something special.
William Jeffery:I mean, I think you get maybe half a dozen and roses think of the price goes up closer to Valentine's Day.
Marcus:Yeah, no, that's not what I meant. I was trying to tell you a lot. Anyways
William Jeffery:guys, what for the heartbreak edition hoodies we haven't those have not been cleared by production yet. Oh.
Marcus:So all these designs I've seen you create just
William Jeffery:a regular hood. I mean, I guess you could give somebody a hoodie. You know what you should give them a hoodie for Valentine's Day, because there's always a sad person and our hoodies are very absorbent. If you work backwards, the hood can double as a tissue or Kleenex. For those of you who are on you know, the the unfortunate side of that holiday,
Marcus:right? And if you're a sadist out there, you might as well just catch the person's tears in your cup. Well,
William Jeffery:I mean, if it goes good for you, you can wear the hoodie the right way and you'll have you know, a great conversation piece for your date. It's a win win. I think it's you know, the multi purpose gift gift keeps on giving. Yeah, you know, get your get your Valentine's Day shopping done early. Head on over the head of mobile boxy, calm pick yourself up, buddy. With the Kleenex attachment
Marcus:Alright, so are we gonna like runways right there? We're gonna go ahead and land this thing.
William Jeffery:Yeah, um, I mean, you know, enjoy your January, brace yourselves for February. Those of you in relationships, I guess even those of you not in relationships, because apparently, February is hard for single people to because they gotta watch those that are in relationships. But then like, they're happy for the two weeks. I mean, even the people that have jobs that have jobs. I like the February that was Valentine's Day harder for the employed.
Marcus:I mean, just the whole New Year's and we're past the holidays now. It's like,
William Jeffery:oh, yeah, yeah, cuz I feel like from most, a lot of industries, at least, once you get through the, like the Christmas rush, there's like a law through New Years. And then, and then things sort of started, like, you know, they normalized and you get to see what the year is gonna look like, you get your new goals and quotas and numbers and all that stuff, and then you know, then then your day to day starts, then it's you know, 1234 and now we're looking for, you know, looking towards your next vacation, holiday break, whatever it is. But really, really, I think it's just that the holidays are like a, like a societal vacation. So like you just get you get put on this emotional high. And, and then you know, come in, and it's sort it's connected, and it builds for so long, right? Because it starts Thanksgiving, right? You got your Black Friday sales, and that's when that's really when the Christmas buzz starts. And everybody says literally, you know, after Halloween, boom, it's Thanksgiving, before you know it, it's Christmas, and it just, it all sort of, you know, blurs together. So it it's a it's a long time building and it builds you up build you build you up, and there's all this pressure, you got to you know, provide for your kids and your significant other and you want to make everybody happy and it's just a lot going on. And then you know, eventually there's the reality of Well there's the other 10 months of the year when it's just you know work and you know Wednesdays so I think that that's that's where the the detox or the the you know the crash if you will comes because it's it's like a two month Sugar Rush and then you know the rest of them in January is to detox and then eventually it's like okay, well there's no there's no holiday there's nothing like because you can get in the habit of putting stuff off right like you get once you get to Christmas or after Christmas things become like alright, is this a is this a December problem or next year problem right? So you know you don't have that excuse me well there's no holidays to put off there's no i Well, they're just you know, we'll deal with this after Christmas or you know, maybe it's it's because of the new year there's you know, there's skeletal staff none of those excuses exist anymore. It's just you know, rubber to the road this is what the year is gonna be and I think that the the letdown there is just because because there's so much built up you know, those those months prior it makes the the reality of life SEMA you know, like coming off vacation so, I guess the moral of the story is vacation Utah just go somewhere extra boring and and then your life will look awesome, right? So just what does it be Jehovah Witness that they don't celebrate anything? So then more they Mormons don't celebrate anything? Well, I guess that could be that that would be adult versus Mormons versus Jehovah Witness for like who has the least amount of celebrations in their religion that that is something I have to I have to hit up for oil and whoever else is in charge over verses and see if they can get a religious one going. I don't know how the FCC feel about that. But you know at any rate, um, yeah, I guess you know, take less awesome vacations. No, is that not a good Morrow? Take more awesome vacations. And I don't know, I don't know how to make your life better if you're always, you know, jet skiing and drinking my ties and you got to go home to the cubicle. And, and the kids, it's just the two. They're polar opposites, man. You got to vacation in Utah, Montana, with the Colorado somewhere cold and weird. And then you know, you can put your hoodie to use, bring your mug, get a new turn, turn a good episode on getting a nice cabin, and just you know, vacation and you'll go back to your nice warm, climate controlled office and be like, Man, I'm so happy to be at back at work.